Oh, be careful...

So, there's this song out now, in contemporary christian music (i.e., on K-Love radio at klove.com), that I heard many times before its meaning really got through to me. I listen to K-Love at work most days, because it keeps me sane during a busy day, and keeps my mind focused on God.

Anyway, the song. It's called "Slow Fade," and much of it centers around a church song I learned when I was a little kid. It's the song that goes:
Oh be careful, little eyes, what you see
Oh be careful, little eyes, what you see
For the Father up above
Is looking down in love
Oh be careful, little eyes, what you see.

The group singing the song talks about how it's a slow fade, when you give yourself away...black and white turn into shades of gray, etc.

At the end of the song, there is an actual little kid singing that, like we used to do before Sunday School at church. And for the first few times I heard the song, it never occurred to me. I've always had issues with gruesome, scary, non-happy movies or TV programs. If I see one, I will run the gruesome, scary, icky, or unhappy parts through my head over and over, feeling bad for the people involved. Because I'm an expert at self-torture like that.

I finally realized that the song is talking, at least in part, about the very thing I just described with unpleasant movie/tv viewing. I'm in control of what I let myself look at . If I don't put the crap in my head, it isn't there to bother me. Duh!! (I know most of the planet has probably already figured this out; I'm slow. Learn to love me anyway.)

So here's the stupid part. Stupid me, that is. Today, I'm sitting here watching TV, enjoying the quiet while the kids are with friends. I'm channel-surfing. I rarely get the chance to do that anymore, and I thought it would be fun. And I hit the "up" channel button over and over, until I came to TNT. Now, I should have known. TNT is not known for their happy, cheery programming. Except now they're playing "Pretty Woman," as I type. Whatever. This morning. I stumbled up on "The Ring."

This is a horror movie. It is not gruesome, particularly. It's one of those thriller-type movies. And I got completely engrossed in the storyline. So, I watched most of it. Parts of it, while not being gruesome, were disturbing. And of course, I ran the disturbing parts of this stupid movie through my head for most of the afternoon, being upset that fake people did this stuff way back when. Sigh...

It occurred to me, driving home from picking up the kids, that I was in control of how much of my day I let this stupid movie eat up. And then, I finally started to feel better. But meanwhile, a few hours of my day were used up, worrying about fake things happening to fake people.

I wonder if I'll ever learn...