Remember me?

It's been awhile. Lots has happened, and I wasn't blogging because not only was Christmas coming, I was also having a personal crisis (nothing really serious, but definitely a big change) and needed time to just take a step back and see what I needed to do.

It all started when I did a report on zero tolerance policies in schools. I did a lot of research and suddenly became completely unsure about my future as an elementary school teacher. I am not the type of person who can blindly follow a bad decision, and while I understand the reasoning for some zero-tolerance policies, many people abuse them, much to the detriment of students.

This led to my thinking about the things I would have to do to become a teacher. The 100 hours of my own time I'd have to find to complete the required observation time; studying for, paying for, and passing the teacher's exam; quitting my job so that I could student teach part-time (for no pay), and finally completing my degree, only to find that I make less than I make now. I have 2 kids to put through school, and who would like to continue spending time with me. Once I became a teacher, I would have work to bring home every night (papers to grade, lessons to plan) and continue to go to classes regularly, to keep my certificate active.

And then I thought about the job I have now, with the really great 401K and very impressive pension plan, the great benefits, and most importantly the fact that I love what I do now. Since I moved to Arizona 20 years ago, I have been desperate to go back to Michigan, where I came from. But I realized that I have a lovely home here, great kids, a husband who loves me and with whom I have lots of fun, and we are blessed beyond reason. So I decided that this is my home. If at some point, God decides to move us back to Michigan or somewhere else, then so be it. But until then, I'm going to practice being content where I am.

With all that in mind, I changed my major (and am still completing a degree, just a different one than I originally planned). I am now a Business Management major, and with all that's gone on, I feel like I haven't, in fact, wasted half my life in the wrong career. I feel like I've been getting experience in my chosen field, and somehow, that makes me really happy. I can relax, not having to figure out how I'm going to move us to Michigan. I can continue in the job I have, learning more about the business world as I earn my degree, and have a good life.

It's a relief!

I Knew It! I was right!

Wouldn't this make a fabulous dining/living room color??

You Should Paint Your Room Red

Dramatic and bold, a red room brings energy. Your red room will inspire you to try a new activity... And bring out even more passion for the things you love.

What Color Should You Paint Your Room?

Tori :) Will Be So Proud!!

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Very Brady Christmas

For you, it's all about sharing times with family. Even if you all get a bit cheesy at times.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

What Kind of Crappy Christmas Gift are YOU?

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost. You make a good puppet.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

Socks! I'm socks! I love socks!

I completely ripped this off from Nancy. It looked fun. If you want to rip it off from me (or Nancy ), feel free.

MOUTHOLOGY
Q-What is your favorite fast food restaurant?

A-Del Taco. Try the strawberry shake...really!

Q-What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of it?

A-Tomatoes. Or ice cream. But not together.

Q-What are your favorite pizza toppings?

A-Ground beef, green peppers, and onions (preferably red onions)

TECHNOLOGY
Q-How many televisions are in your house?
A-Three, but one is in our son's room and used for games and DVDs (which are, of course, all approved by his over-protective mother.)

Q-What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A-Ummm...some stock photo that came with the computer, a picture of the Northern Lights (or Aurora Borealis) over a lake in Alaska.


CURRENTOLOGY
Q-Current mood?
A-Tired of school, tired of work; just tired. It is 10:21 p.m., after all!

Q-Currently listening to?
A-Billy Crystal accepting a comedy award on PBS.

FAVORITOLOGY
Q-Favorite number?
A-8. It's fun to write.

Q-Favorite season?
A-Fall.

BIOLOGY
Q-Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A-Right-handed.

Q-Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A-No, but I fainted my junior year of high school. I'd been sick and was trying to go to school anyway.

Q-When was the last time you had a cavity?
A-Right at this very moment. Who said blogs aren't fabulous-you're experiencing history right now!

RANDOMOLOGY
Q-Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A-Of course! Gosh!


Q-What color do you think looks best on you?
A-Red.

Q-What is in your left pocket?
A-I'm not wearing a pocket. I'm in my nightie. Remember, It's 10: 25! Keep up!

Q-Have you ever saved someone's life?
A-Umm...no. Not that I'm aware of. Maybe my winning personality gave someone a reason to hang on one more day?

Q-Has anyone saved your life?
A-Jesus


Q-What do you want to be when you grow up?
A-I don't want to grow up. But I do want to be a teacher...I think.


Q-Could you live with roommates?
A-I have, but prefer not to. Too bad about that husband and those kids, eh? (KIDDING!!)

Q-What can you not wait to do?
A-Finish school. But I don't think I ever will.

Q-What's the last movie you saw?
A- The Cutting Edge


DAREOLOGY
Q-Would you never blog again for $50,ooo?
A-Ummm...YES! Where do I sign?

Q-Would you allow one of your pinky fingers to be chopped off for a million bucks?
A-No...what kind of sicko questionnaire is this?

LASTOLOGY
Q-Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A-When yet another uninsured Arizona driver smashed into my car while it was parked outside my house.

Q-Last person who called you?
A-My friend Wendy!

Q-Last person you hugged?
A-My sweet husband.

Random Wednesday

"Animal Crackers and Cocoa to drink,
This is the finest of breakfasts, I think.

Animal crackers are okay, but those cinnamon-y alphabet cookies are even better with cocoa. I learned that poem in the first grade, I think.

Why does it feel so easy and natural to walk straight past another human being and not acknowledge them, both people keeping their eyes straight forward as though the other person isn't there? That doesn't seem natural to me, and I'm going to quit letting it happen. Just so you know.

I have slowly become a coffee snob. If it isn't "really good" coffee, I don't want any. How in the world did this happen? I'm a Michigan-raised, store-brand, generic prescription type of gal. I've found that I also like Earl Grey tea. It makes me feel content. I have no idea why.

My kids are fabulous. My son is becoming a brilliant musician and artist, while also being incredibly intelligent. My daughter sat at the table tonight adding and subtracting three-digit numbers (in the form of currency, like $8.32) in. her. head. Without the use of fingers, calculators, or paper to write a problem on.

My husband and I celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary on the 19th of this month. We are celebrating by going to Prescott, AZ for this coming weekend. I am excited!

I have started losing track of the many, many projects I have at work. I am interrupted at least 15-20 times per hour. I sit at the front desk, and act as the receptionist for our two companies, plus the administrative assistant for the accounting, scheduling, HR departments, as well as my boss, who is the practice manager. I feel like my head is going to spin around so much some day, it will just fall off and land gracefully on the carpet.

I have a cousin who is with YWAM, a youth ministry-missionary group. I only hear from him when they have financial problems. I don't have much to give, but I told him I'd pray for him and his family. They're adopting a little boy from Guatemala, and in the red tape involved, have gone through what they had saved. I doubt I'll hear from him again for at least a year. Maybe I'll be wrong. I'd like that, too.

I learned this evening (while typing this entry, in fact) that I prefer Wal-Mart brand Hot Chocolate to Swiss Miss. See-I'm still a Michigan girl! Whew!

I hope you've enjoyed this little trek through my thought processes. Have a pleasant tomorrow!

The Sound of Music

I was thinking the other day, while I was doing something mindless at work like stuffing envelopes, about music. There are some songs that immediately take me back to a particular time and place. Here are a few...

1. Tie a Yellow Ribbon by Tony Orlando & Dawn. I was 8 or 9 years old, maybe younger. I was in our family room/dining room (depending on what year it was) and I had my little portable, orange record player. I would play a little bit of the song, then pick up the needle and stop it, and write the words I remembered. I did this until I had all the lyrics written down.

2. Daybreak by Barry Manilow. My mom would get up with us in the morning, wake us up and fix our breakfast. Generally, this song was playing on the radio on the counter in the kitchen, on WTCM Radio from Traverse City, Michigan.

3. Brothers and Sisters of Mine, a hymn. I was at Senior High church camp, and Lester Ford was drawing the cover page for our camp log (kind of like a yearbook, only for camp). He was a great artist. We were sitting on the picnic table, under the big pine tree in the middle of the campground, with a bunch of other people.

4. America by Neil Diamond. In my friend Laura's living room, playing it over and over on her parents' big stereo, because we thought it was a cool song.

5. Forever in Blue Jeans, also by Neil Diamond. The sixth grade, at some class party or another. I thought he was singing Reverend Blue Jeans, and so did Tony Buffman. He was a kid who always tried to make everyone feel important and valued, even at his age.

6. Afternoon Delight, by someone whose name I can't recall. We were in our camper, in a campground somewhere in southern Michigan, near Ann Arbor. My sister drank lye when she was 3 years old, and for over a year we had to take her to Mott Children's Hospital at the University of Michigan every other week to dilate her throat, which had to be replaced. During the winter we stayed with my aunt who lived near Ann Arbor; in the summer we camped. That was the campground where I learned to swim (there was a lake).

7. Kiss You All Over by Exile. There were a group of us who made it into the spelling bee, and we were in the back of the principal's van, headed back to school after the bee, when this came on the radio.

That's all I can think of now; though I know there are more. I'll share others in a different post.

The ABC's of Me

A-Attached or single: Married...19 years next month! And people thought it wouldn't work out!

B-Best friend: Tony, Rhonda
C-Cake or pie: Pie. Blueberry, please.

D-Day of choice: Friday

E-Essential item: My laptop...what did we ever do without these things?

F-Favorite color: Depending on for what, Red, Pink, Burgundy, Blue, or Green.

G-Gummi bears or worms: neither...Kit Kat, please!

H-Hometown: Alden, Michigan

I-Indulgences: Ice cream and sleep.

J-January or July: January...but I live in Phoenix. If I move, probably July.

K-Kids: Two absolutely fabulous ones.

L-Life is incomplete without: the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

M-Marriage date: November 19th, 1988.

N-Number of siblings: two-a sister, Heidi; and a brother, Terry.

O-Oranges or apples: Oranges! One of the "happy fruits (pineapple is the other)!

P-Phobias or fears: Ferris Wheels.

Q-Quote I love: "Pull your pants up, turn your hat around, and get a job!"

R-Reason to smile: counting my blessings!

S-Season: Fall-no matter where I live.

T-Tag: anyone who wants to play!

U-Unknown fact about me: I love my flannel sheets!

V-Vegetarian or meat eater: Yes.

W-Worst habit: Stress.

X-X-rays or ultrasounds: Ultrasounds.

Y-Your favorite foods: Greek

Z-Zodiac: I don't do zodiac. I like giraffes.

She

It was a dead-air kind of evening; one that wasn't hot and wasn't cold. There was no wind. She'd just come out of Wal-Mart with her two children in tow. God, how she hated Wal-Mart! Yes, the nausea-inducing lights, the football field size of the store, the clientèle who never seem to have mastered the art of pushing their carts on the RIGHT, or actually, any side rather than parking them diagonally in the middle of an aisle. But far more annoying than those problems came at the end of every trip to the store...the 20-minute long checkout line and the demand from some underpaid, overworked employee that she show them her receipt on her way out the door. She'd solved the receipt-at-the-door problem by having her son hand the receipt to the doorway dingbat. She'd managed to hang onto patience the entire 2 hours she was in the store, looking at every toy aisle imaginable and trying to help her children find what they wanted to buy with their birthday money. She'd found the yarn and knitting needles she needed.

All this after she'd spent a solid four hours with her husband and kids, cleaning the back yard. She was exhausted, her feet were killing her even though they sported sneakers, not heels. The cart full, the doorway dingbat satisfied that she hadn't stolen anything, she pushed the cart toward her car, which had been parked miraculously close to the entrance. And then, WHANG!! The cart stopped dead. Thinking she'd run over something, she attempted to back up. Nothing. She tried forward again...no dice. Sadly, she hadn't run over anything. No, the stupid electronic wheel lock had come on. She looked around...there was no yellow line, the traditional marking for such nonsense as locking carts. She was a mere 50 feet from the door. And then, her son saw it. "Look, mom! There's the line!"

And there it was. Maybe three feet long, and near the end of a dark alley on the side of the Wal-Mart store, mixed in with the traditional crosswalk lines, was a yellow line. The merest fragment of the usual thick, yellow line that borders the parking lot.

She lost it. She called information on her cell phone and got the phone number for the Wal-Mart she had just exited. She called the store, and when the poor soul who answers the phone, answered the phone, she heard "Guess What? I'm in your parking lot not more than 50 feet from your door and my cart locked up! I'm standing here in the middle of the road outside your store, trying to get to my car, which is not more than 20 feet away, and I can't, because your cart has locked up! It's bad enough that I have to have my cart searched and my receipt checked every time I leave your store, like some common criminal, and I can never find what I need in less than two hours, and now this! I am tired of being treated this way!"

After a puzzled moment, the poor soul's voice came back on. "Ma'am, I don't even know where you are."

"I'm RIGHT OUTSIDE your door! Not more than 50 feet away! And now I'm going to have to leave my minor children with my cart, go and get my car and block your drive while I load it up! They're just kids! It's dark outside! Can't you make your carts work a little further than 50 feet?"

"Ok. I'm sorry, ma'am. And you know what? Even we employees get searched every time we leave the store, so I know how you feel. I'm really sorry."

She took a breath. "Thank you, and I know it isn't your fault personally. I'm sorry I'm being a jerk."

"That's perfectly alright, ma'am. You have a good evening."

So she went to her car and backed it out of the space. Miraculously, there was no traffic. She drove to the kids, and got them in the car, then unloaded the cart into the trunk and was on her way. She got about a quarter of a mile down the road before she heard a still, small voice talking to her about patience and how people behave in public, especially in front of their children. She picked up her phone and dialed information again. Miraculously, there was an option for being connected with the last number searched for, so she pressed "1." The poor soul came on the phone, and she apologized profusely for her attitude when she called earlier. The poor soul was very gracious.

She ended the call and hung up, and then realized that all those miraculous happenings...weren't. God knew what was going to happen, and let it. He didn't do it because He loves to see people suffer. He didn't do it to punish anyone. His son Jesus took all the punishment that God ever would have had for us, no matter what we do or what future generations do, when he let himself be nailed to a cross and then rose from the dead three days later.

No, He let it happen, I believe, because we are here on Earth in order to learn. Perhaps we're here to learn how to live in heaven. I know I've got a lot to learn..."She" is me.

Foley's Fire Eaters Finally Finish!

No, I'm not really eating fire. Ick. The title is a reference to a line in the famous and popular movie, "An Officer and A Gentleman," when the platoon (or whatever you call it) that Richard Gere's character is a part of, finally finishes basic training and is on their way to Pensacola to "get jets."

I, however, am done with my independent study class. I'd really like to know how these can be called "Independent Study." 'Cause I pretty much had a set syllabus of what I had to do. I didn't feel free to study butterflies, or wave frequency at Clearwater Beach on the Gulf of Mexico. No, I had to study what they told me (ha, ha).

I figured it out tonight, and I wrote 12 papers of at least 800 words. In 5 weeks. Actually, in 10 days, because I did all of my homework for this class on the weekends, around everything else that's happening in our lives (Tony's grandpa's cancer; the kids in a new school;everybody being sick because it's a new school year and hey, why not; my husband's fabulous book deal; church; choir; and, oh yeah...work.). And I am tired! My husband found me on our bed at 2 a.m. this morning, literally asleep on my laptop. He woke me up to tell me it may be time to put the computer away, and I was so startled that I was like, "I'm up! I'm up! Hang on!" Yeah, right. Then, he gently told me he was going to unplug my computer (because the cord was hanging across his side of the bed, and it of course has an internal battery, and it being 2 a.m. he wanted to go to sleep). I'm like, "Wait! Hold on! I don't want to lose this," at which point he patiently explained to my sleep-befuddled self that it wont' turn off the computer if he unplugs it; the computer has an internal battery. I swear, the poor man had no idea what he was getting into when he married me. I can be such a dork sometimes! :)

But, I am finished. And it is good. Now, I just have a meeting on 10/16 and classes start again 10/23. But for now, a break! From school, at least...

Randomness

-Have you ever noticed how rude the world is becoming? We're hiring for a position at work, and we scheduled second interviews with three people. Second interview--that's a big deal, right?
Well, not apparently for this one lady, who didn't show up and didn't even call. I left her a message after she didn't show, asking her if I'd gotten the day wrong or if she wasn't interested in working with us. I asked her to call back. She didn't.

-Don't buy toys from MGA Entertainment/Rescue Pets. My daughter (8 yrs. old) did, and the little bone that they put the code on, so the kids can play online, got lost in the flurry. I tried to register without it (there's a website that apparently they can go and play on with the toy they bought), but I couldn't and the webpage said to contact myepets.com. I did, and after ingnoring my first two e-mails, I got irritated with them and sent a stronger e-mail. They wrote back with a form letter that said they had been having trouble accessing my e-mail...yeah...right. They also said in the form letter that the UPC code I gave them didn't match a toy that could go online, even though the web address and the things you can do on website are plastered all over the box. In yet another form letter. And then tonight, I got an e-mail from a person with a name, rather than MGA Customer Service, that matched almost exactly the letter they sent last night, stating they were "unable" to help. So, I e-mailed this information to them, and then they responded that they are "unable" [read, "don't give a crap"] to replace the code. I promised them I'd tell everyone I knew, and though I don't technically know all of you personally, I thought I'd pass it on. If you buy a Rescue Pet, guard the tiny paper bone with your life, because MGA Entertainment has no intention of being customer friendly.

-My kids and I are reading "Harriet the Spy" together. Great book.

-I have purchased Christmas presents for five people already. And it's technically still September. Woo-Hoo!

-I have been obsessed with thoughts about and curiosity with someone from my past for the past two weeks. The last time this happened, the person moved here. Hmm...

-I had my teeth cleaned today. I went in for 2 crowns, but all they could fit in was the cleaning. Next Thursday is crown day. I had a credit of $67, and my bill for today was $62! Woo-hoo again!

-The soundtrack from "Dirty Dancing" makes me happy. ;)

I was tagged by Jail Diet to do the following...List 5 things that certain people (who are not deserving of being your friend anyway) may consider to be "totally lame," but you are, despite the possible stigma, totally proud of. Own it. Tag 5 others:

1. I made the honor roll every marking period in the 12th grade.

2. You know those letters you get for sports in hight school? Well, I was the first member of my freshman class to be awarded a band letter, which we got by earning points for showing up for band camp at the end of summer, being on time, participating in try-outs for chairs, etc. The stupid thing is, the school wouldn't let us buy the regular jacket that you sew the letters on. No, we had to have cheap black and orange (our school colors) windbreakers. I still have mine.

3. I was captain of the flag squad my sophomore, junior, and senior years in high school. Yes, I was a "flaggot." And a darn good one, too!

4. I was President of my church youth group in 12th grade, too.

5. I made a fantastic apron and at least one really cool long 1970s-style dress (because it was the 1970s) as a member of our local 4H club. I got blue ribbons on them.

I tag Lauren and Tori, having very few blogfriends I am familiar enough with that they may not openly jeer at me in their blogs.

Five Hours in the Penalty Box!

I'm not a real hockey fan. I just thought it appropriate for what happened today. I woke up this morning with a GINORMOUS neck/shoulder/headache.

I should've known it was coming. I've been dizzy for two days (well, three now), I've had chest pains a lot the past three weeks (I get those with anxiety-at least I hope that's all it is) and have been incredibly stressed out at work. So, Wham-o! Major, life-stopping, energy-sapping headache. For five hours. Couldn't look at light or hear sound. At all. Ugh. Happily, the kids had no school, and their awesome grandma took them canoeing up in Prescott. My fabulous husband got them up, dressed, and ready to go (though these days, they do much of that themselves). I laid there in bed, in agony. I called in to work, then went to sleep. I woke up at 11:00. Still couldn't move until noon.

I must get healthier. I've been hardly eating lunch, trying to keep up at work, and not sleeping enough, trying to be everything else I need to be and do homework.

I did go in to work at 1:30. At least it was something, I thought. My sweet boss called me into her office and told me that I need to let her know if I have too much to do. She knows she runs around like a headless chicken all the time, but doesn't want to make others sick because of it. This is good, because if one more person handed me something they just didn't want to deal with themselves, I was going to rip their arm off. Okay, probably not. But it was tempting.

I am so blessed to work there. But I do have to learn to say NO, or it won't be good any more. I am not a doormat, but I'm letting myself be one by saying yes to everyone who needs help. I also "take on" other people's feelings, and when my boss is stressed, I want to help her and I just figure I will somehow fit it all in. And more often than not, I do fit it in. But I end up hurting myself and my health. N-N-N-N....NO. I can do this. I must do this. Or I will drop over dead from a heart attack.

No.
No.
No.

And now, Deep Thoughts...by Penny

Have you ever noticed how little quiet is in the world? Media is everywhere; clock radio, TV, car radio, Ipod, CD collection. Different ways to make noise on each noisemaker; CD player/radio/alarm; CD/Stereo; TV/VCR/DVD/TiVo; multiple ring tones; on and on and on. I would love to just sit in a hammock or a rocking chair or lie in the grass and hear...nothing. Crickets, maybe. Bees buzzing by. Watch the clouds and think. Or--gasp!--read a book. In the quiet. With no music or alarm or phone or TV or radio commercial telling me I need to Get Down There Now!! Now!! Now!! and buy a Subaru...anywhere nearby. Quiet. Rest. Peace.

Just a thought...

Peace out...

Back to School

For me...not the kids. They've been back almost a month now. No, after a much-too-long break, I'm finally back into the swing of things. I say the break was much too long, because apparently I'm not really cut out for long breaks. The first time I attempted college, I went one year and then dropped out for what I thought were good reasons (the college was private, cost a whole lot, and I was in love and wanted to be with my boyfriend, who was leaving after that year). I didn't go back for 20 years.

This past June, I started a break that lasted until last week. And a few days before class started, I freaked out and was already trying to withdraw. I wasn't sure I should be spending this much money on a career that doesn't pay well (elementary education), my kids would need me, I really enjoyed not having to do anything academic for those couple months, I already have a good job that I love, and that has a fantastic 401K, etc.

But I took the class anyway. And as I started writing the two papers I had to turn in by Monday, I remembered...I am smart. I am a good student. And I can do this (I know, it sounds just like Stuart Smalley saying "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me-God, I love Al Franken!). Even though the education system is far from perfect, I can make a positive difference in the lives of those kids I teach.

Now, whether I'll remember all this all the way through the rest of my degree program--who knows. I'll try, and it certainly would be easier if I would!

Time Travel, Guilt-Ridden Thursday

I'm happily married with two kids, and sometimes, like today, I fantasize about what my life would have been like if I had married some of the other people I dated. I'm a hopeless romantic, who hopes for romance no matter what. Whether it's "smart" or not. And what is "smart" when dealing with romance, anyway? I mean clearly, there should be no abuse and it would be nice if both people were working and contributing both to the relationship and to society. But after that, I don't know that it's really possible to be smart about someone whom you love.

I know now that my husband and I happen to be deeply in love. This doesn't mean that he never does anything to irritate me, nor that I never irritate him. We've nearly divorced three or four times now, during the rough times. But I've discovered that at the core of my existence, there is this deep, basic (as in basal) love for my husband. But still, I daydream about being married to guys I used to date (those I felt deeply for, anyway): Lester Ford, Tim Fults, Danny Doneese. Yes-I am making these names up, but they represent real people who I don't want to hurt--or horrify.

I know life would probably be much the same as it is now. We would probably both work, we'd probably have kids. If I'd married Tim, as was my dream my senior year of high school, I may well have been a mousy, quiet, submissive, good little wife. The girl he married (we're good friends) is quite the opposite and they've been happily married almost as long as my husband and I. Tim ended up joining the military, and really, I doubt I could have lived like that. Don't get me wrong--those people sacrifice so much for our freedoms, and I appreciate and honor every single one of them. I just worry too much, and that's not what those guys need,.

Lester Ford really, really liked me. And he was SUCH an incredibly nice, cute, sweet, thoughtful, attentive (even though we were in high school and lived 70 miles apart), adorable, funny guy. The night we met, I walked into the retreat late, having had to play in the band at halftime at our football game. But when I walked in to campfire (literally, all the kids and staff at the retreat sitting around a fire in the rec hall fireplace, singing campfire songs), Lester stood up and motioned me over to sit by him. He introduced himself, "Hi, I'm Lester Ford--like the car." He told me I looked like Deborah VanValkenburgh, who played in Too Close for Comfort. If I remember right, we went for a walk after campfire (it was a Senior High kids' retreat, curfew was late). I know we walked down to the lake, and he kissed me. He was a good kisser, too! I remember that I couldn't believe that someone his age (he was all of two years older than me) could be interested in me. He would write me letters (we met at a fall church group retreat) and draw these incredibly beautiful, colorful pictures on the envelopes. Long, business-type envelopes with gorgeous drawings done in marker. He played guitar, and was very kind.

The trouble was, he was this wonderful, really wonderful guy. And sadly, really, REALLY sadly, I just didn't feel a whole lot of "spark" for him. Near the end of that school year, I was talking to my mom, telling her that he was great, fabulous, wonderful, and deserved better than a girl who didn't fall head over heels in love with him. She told me that if I felt that way, I really needed to let him know. So I did. And it was heart-wrenching, because I'm not kidding--he was a really wonderful guy and even though I didn't fall head-over-heels, I didn't want to hurt him.

At work the other day, three friends and I were talking. One of the friends has just started a relationship with a guy who adores her, after being burned by a two-or-three-or-four timer. She's amazed that this guy is absolutely besotted with her. My other friend said, "haven't you ever gone out with a guy who has a crush on you? It's fabulous!" It is fabulous. You feel like a queen. But because I'm me, I felt guilty that I wasn't feeling as much as he was, and I let him go. Sometimes, I wonder what it would've been like. Of course, he joined the military too. Maybe I chased guys there??

Danny was this annoying kid I met in the 6th grade. He played clarinet, like me. I thought he was weird. The only good thing about him (I thought then) was that he let me borrow his clarinet case to rest my bass clarinet on when I played it. We had a running joke--he let me borrow his case, and I told him I'd pay him the 2nd Tuesday of the week. In 8th grade, on a day when I was wearing my red/white/blue zip front sweater and standing by the big, putty-colored transformer box outside the middle school, Danny asked me to "go with him," which then meant to go steady. Of course, we didn't "go" many places, being in the 8th grade. He and I had every class together that year. He was my first (through 978th) French Kiss. The first kiss wasn't like that, but it soon developed into that. His family was very Baptist and very concerned about our relationship. They let us do things together (roller skating, birthday parties, one of us spending the day at the other's house occasionally), but on the last day of band camp, before the first day of 9th grade and high school, he broke up with me, saying that he still wanted to be friends. I was too shocked and hurt to respond properly (it really came out of nowhere, and I was way, WAY too clingy back then), so our friendship (which had developed in the 7th grade) never really righted itself.

I saw him at our 20th class reunion, with his pretty, sweet wife. Had I married him, I probably would have been very happy. But I'm also very happily married now, and I didn't have to join the Baptist church. :)

I guess it's okay to think, to dream, to make up "what-ifs." It bothers me that I do this, yet I haven't been able to quit it, nor have I ever cheated on my husband. So maybe it's a wash. At any rate, it gets me through days like today!

Tonight was instrument night at my son's school. We went, and as expected, he chose a clarinet. I'm honored...I played that for 12 years! But, like I said yesterday, it's Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants who should be honored...I think he's 9/10 of the reason Ben chose a clarinet!

The first class is tomorrow, and he's so excited. He opened the case about 50 times tonight, just to look at it. It's just a rental, but it makes him so happy! The program the school rents with is pretty cool; any and all rental money can go toward the purchase of a new instrument if/when he gets serious and decides this is for good. But, he can also change instruments if he wants, which is kind of nice, too. A clarinet and a saxophone are a lot alike, so he could change to that, or to drums, which I also think would be totally cool, or whatever. So it doesn't tie the parents into some huge expense they can't really afford, only to have El Kiddo quit 3 weeks into lessons.

I could swear this boy was just born yesterday...and already he's in fifth grade! How??

A Friend Lost, and a Squidward Wanna-Be

Today's post was a toss-up between faking something happy, or honestly writng something not so happy. Honesty won. It's really hard losing a friend. But I have lost one, apparently.

Weeks and weeks ago, after years of being Ruth's* friend, and after years of hearing her attitude and general outlook on life nose-dive to levels that, to me, were scary, I told Ruth that I cared a lot about her and wanted her to be well. I said that it might be a good idea to see her doctor about her depression and at least consider medication. I thought this was a good thing for me to do, because I'm her friend and I wanted to be honest. I thought I could do this, because she never hesitated to say what was on her mind about what I was doing, or about other friends or people in general. She openly criticized people all the time. And that was when she was doing well. But at this point, her e-mails were full of hate toward whoever she happened to be talking about. I prayed about it, because I didn't want to fly off the handle and be hurtful. And one day, I felt God telling me what to say to her.

The writing flowed out so easily I know I wasn't the only one involved-God was helping me know what to write. I sent it, and later that day, got a very short e-mail back, saying "Your concerns are noted!"

I didn't push it. I thanked her, and she continued to tell me about problems she was having with friends. I commented on it, and always got short e-mails; in one she even said she didn't care to discuss it (whatever we were talking about at the moment) anymore. But I hadn't brought it up-she had.

Then, I went to Las Vegas, the town where she lives, but with another friend because we had scheduled a girls get-away weekend months beforehand. I didn't tell Ruth I would be there, because I also have a relationship with the friend I took the trip with, and even though I agonized over whether to tell Ruth or not, I couldn't find a real way to do so. What could I have said..."Hi, my friend Amy* and I will be there, but we're going to try to check out all the casinos on the Strip (which, to my traveling companion literally meant walking through each one-not hanging out and gambling) and I know you hate casinos and hate the smoke. We're also going to hang out at the pool, which I know you hate as well. And we're going to be on Fremont Street, which scares the heck out of you. Wanna join us?"

See, I thought I was allowed to have more than one friend. I didn't realize I was supposed to check in with every one of my friends to make sure it was okay with them. But apparently I should have, becuase Ruth called while I was gone. My son answered the phone, and when Ruth asked if I was there, he said that no, I was coming home from Las Vegas. And I haven't heard word one from her since, despite a return phone call and several happy, here's-what's-new e-mails. I have a couple different friends who come to Phoenix for various things, and they don't call me every time they're here. I thought that was normal adult behavior-sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

So, anyway, I'm down one friend. She was in town this weekend, and of course I didn't hear from her. I'm sure I had to be punished for my trip, see. And that's okay, if if helps her feel better.

It's hard, but I'm still praying for her. Truthfully, I can't see what's going on in her world; it may be totally different from what I think. But it still sucks. I miss the happy her. And I hope she's okay.

On a happier note, tomorrow night is "Instrument Night" at my son's school, for the kids who want to be in the band. He's leaning heavily toward clarinet, like Squidward on Spongebob Squarepants. I'll let you know what kind of musician we have tomorrow!

*=not the real names.

Vacation Pictures!

At Long Last...some pictures from our Mexico trip!






Mayan Resorts-
Our first day, we went to Mayan Resorts. Sounds odd, I know. See, I (the wimp) was driving as we entered Mexico, and at the border a man waved me over to the side, so I assumed I had to stop. After his 5-minute spiel, I don't know what possessed us to actually give him $20 for all the free stuff he promised us--including our $20 returned to us. We arrived here at 9:30 in the morning, and left (finally! Four salesmen and women later!!) at 12:30, with our $20 and a free bottle of tequila. It wasn't that good, either. Total time-share sales pitch...if you go, you only have to stop at the border when you see a dude in a uniform with a Stop (Alto, in Mexico) sign.





CEDO
This is a museum we visited on our second day in Mexico. It was about 1/4 mile, tops, from the beach house we rented. That's me, in the pink (the big one in the pink). My hair was a mess all week with the humidity. Normally it's curly, but in Mexico, next to the ocean...it was REALLY curly!

We're standing in front of a Fin Whale skeleton. This whale, sadly, beached itself in Rocky Point in 1985.






Hermit Crabs-

One of the neat things about Rocky Point is that low tide and high tide are very different. Early (5:00) Tuesday morning, I went out to the living room to look at the ocean, and the water had receded probably 150 feet from where it had been the night before. I immediately remembered the tsunami in the Indian Ocean, and promptly woke up my husband to ask him if we should worry about this. We decided to go back to sleep, and it was a good thing. The water being back that far is normal for Rocky Point, and when it recedes, there are sand bars all over the place near the shore. This picture is of hermit crabs, which were plentiful around the sand bar in front of our house. They're really cool! They hide in the shells (the white, long one above was named Jenny by our kids) and scuttle around in the sand when they want to. You can pick them up and they'll peek at you, but I've never seen one come all the way out of the shell. We found and played with (and put back in the water) several over the week.

The Beach toward Old Town, from in front of our house.

The cutest boy in the world, in the hole he dug.


















The cutest girl in the world, playing "Trouble" with wet hair.
















Parasailing--Aaaaaahhhhhh!
I can't wait to go again!!

5 Things Meme

I totally and completely stole this from Lauren, because it's been a LOOOOOONNNNNNNNGG day and I needed an idea for a post.

Five things I was doing 10 years ago
1. Being a mom for the first time...our son was 2 months old!
2. Working at American Indian Art Magazine.
3. Freaking out about being a mom.
4. Watching WAY more TV than I do now (hey, you gotta do something at all those night time feedings.

5. Buying our first car with air bags.

Five things on my to-do list today

1. Go to church.

2. Plan and pre-cook dinners for the week.
3. Go to bed by 10:00 (oops!)
4. Set alarm for 6:00 a.m. (ugh! I'm SO not a morning person) to get the kids up and ready for their first day of school tomorrow.
5. Nap (I did, sort of, while watching "Spanglish."

Five snacks I enjoy

1. Cheese Sticks
2. Applesauce cups
3. Cookies
4. Wintergreen Lifesavers
5. Ice Cream

Five things I'd do if I were a millionaire
1. Pay off my house.

2. Pay off my parents house.
3. Go to either Mansfield, MO or DeSmet, SD to study Laura Ingalls Wilder in depth.
4. Pay off my cars.
5. Get my entire extended family together for a big, super-fun vacation.
]

Five things I'd never wear again
1. Bell Bottoms
2. Those see-thru, colored (mine was purple) raincoats of the 80's...so HOT!
3. My band jacket
4. My "senior key" necklace that I thought was so important to have.
5. Leg Warmers (at least I don't think I would).

Five favorite toys
1. Computer
2. iPod
3. My Kitchen Aid Mixer
4. Cell Phone
5. the TV in my room

We're Baaaaaaaaaack!

Hola! Como Estas!

A good time was had by all in Rocky Point.

BTW, a big THANK YOU (see--it's big!) goes to Kayelyn, who translated my "see you in a week" into Spanish. See the comments of the post before this for the correct lingo.

I learned a few things in Mexico. First, you don't have to pull over at the border at the first guy who waves you to the side of the road. Silly me, I was driving in a foreign country and thought I should do what he said, since I was at the border. Nope. He was selling time shares. But he didn't say that, he said there was a new hotel and they'd like to have people go see it and spread the word about it, so they were offering us a free breakfast, a bottle of tequila, and a sunset harbor cruise. Then, after his 5 minutes spiel, he says he needs $20 to guarantee we'll show up. We did show up, and it was indeed a lovely breakfast and a lovely resort. But it wasn't a hotel, it was one of several resorts run by Mayan Resorts, wherein you buy something that sounds remarkably like a time share. But they swear it's not one. Four hours later we left, having purchased NO timeshare, with a bottle of tequila and our $20 returned to us as promised, and only after having spoken to no less than four sales people. We didn't get the promised harbor cruise (surprise, surprise) because we didn't have a major credit card (we travel with our debit cards because we have one credit card that is empty and is STRICTLY for emergencies). This lovely company has "plants" all over Rocky Point, too; we were asked at least twice in old town Rocky Point the day we were there. They're friendly, they give you your money back, and we got the tequila (which is only okay, not fabulous, by the way).

Things improved a lot after that. We saw a marine museum with the enormous skeleton of a whale who sadly beached itself in Rocky Point in 1985. Right in front of our condo (100 yards, max) was The Ocean, or, rather; The Gulf of California. Whatever. It was awesome. We spent mucho time on the beach building castles and playing in the waves. On Wednesday we lost power for a little bit, so we decided it was the perfect time to go in to "Old Town" and do some shopping. We did that, and we also found a nice restaurant and bought our only meal out there. While we were there we also got a great recommendation for a place to go parasailing, so Thursday we went parasailing. When I say "we," I mean all of us--they actually let the kids go, and the kids wanted to go. It was awesome!! I would do it again in a heartbeat! We went in two tandem set-ups; Ben and I went first, then Tony and Julie. We ended up sitting, literally, in these harnesses so it felt very secure and safe. We also had life jackets on--serious ones! It was almost like when I fly in my dreams, except there was a 10-year old in front of me, smacking into me every now and again (it's harnesses strapped to a parachute, not a Cadillac). When we got off the boat afterward, we were walking to our car and saw dolphins in the harbor! I think there were two of them. They surfaced every once in awhile for at least 10 minutes, right in front of us. Well, we were on the shore, but still...very cool!

Every night I read my book, and we sat on the deck and watched the stars come out, and played games with the kids, and slept really, really well. The afternoons, from about 1:00 to 4:00, were really hot-over 100 degrees, with 100 percent humidity...ugh! I read a lot in the afternoons, and napped under the fantastic air conditioning vent that was directly over our bed. I got through my book 1.5 times...I love this story! It's just a romance novel, but it involves small towns and country music, too, and it's just happy and fun. It's one that I have kept for several years to re-read. It's called Small Town Girl, by LaVyrle Spencer. Totally dorky, but that's me!

I will hopefully have pictures to share in the near future. Right now they're all on my husband's laptop because we just got home today. Also, for you Good Mailers, I haven't forgotten you. I've just been busy prepping for the vaca and all.

It's good to be back!!

Adios Para un week

Yeah...sorry. I don't know the Spanish word that equates to "week." We're almost all packed and it's only 10:15-ish the night before! A record, for us.

Take care, all, and have a fabulous week! I'll miss you!

Heidi-Ho There, Neighbors!

This week I got some awesome Good Mail! Tori sent me some adorable note cards, and Jennie-Boo sent me great little packets of foot scrub, lotion, and soak, plus a wonderful little emery board. I feel so loved...thanks, gals!

I'd post pictures, but my husband is using the camera today and I can't draw that well :) so I'll try to post them later this week.

This week we're getting ready for the big exodus out of our homeland, i.e., our vacation to Mexico. I am starting to really, REALLY look forward to five days on the beach!

I may have mentioned this before; if I did, I'm sorry. I may try to go parasailing. I'm scared of heights, but in many of my dreams, I seem to be flying. I can't think of anything else that could produce that same feeling, so if it's reasonably priced and if I'm not too fat and if I don't chicken out, I'm going to try it.

Did you ever buy yourself new crayons and a coloring book? I did that this weekend, while shopping for school supplies for the kids. I love the smell of crayons, and coloring is so relaxing. Often, though, I'll just keep the crayons and use my kids old, broken ones so that I can keep the box looking pretty and the crayons all their original, perfect shape. Because once you start coloring with them, of course the shape of the tip changes, and then all the crayons don't match. Yes, I am crazy. Thanks for asking. :)

I hope you have a fabulous Wednesday. I'm about to go to bed and speed up my fabulous Wednesday, so that vacation time can get here sooner. I almost don't even care if we go to Mexico; just the idea of not having to get up and be somewhere by a certain time is sounding more and more heavenly!

"Our" Mexican Villa

Here's a link to the beach house we're renting in Mexico...

http://www.oceano-rentals.com/property_details.asp?vid=mariposa_big.mov&P=LO123

What the H(@#)Q@$&! is wrong with me today?

Did'ja ever have one of those days? I did. Today.

It started Sunday, actually. I went to church, stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home (which may, in fact explain everything...Wal-Mart often makes me insane). I went home, put the groceries away, and decided to lie down for a few mintes before starting to paint the touch-up stuff in the bedroom and the hallway. I laid down at about 2:30, and woke up at 5:30!! So much for painting.

Then, I couldn't sleep. Which is nowhere near like me...I can ALWAYS sleep. Except Sunday night. The kids and Tony have been gone backpacking since Saturday, and I just didn't feel tired...or relaxed enough to sleep. Finally at 3:00 a.m. or so, I went to bed and watched TV until who knows when. I woke up at 5:30 with a blinding headache and nausea. I didn't go to work Monday. Instead, I slept and/or laid around being all lethargic until about 3:30 in the afternoon.

Today I went to work. Big mistake. Huge. I still hurt all over and am grumpy as all get-out. Then I find out that the courier that picks up from us on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday each week apparently has gone over the edge. He's very full of himself, and although he works for a courier company, not us directly; he takes it upon himself to change our delivery schedule and tell me what to do as though he's my boss. Yesterday, when I was sick, he apparently insisted on parking in the wrong area, where he's been asked not to park. Then he got into it with a security guard who approached him and was incredibly rude; rude enough that the security director for the plaza I work in came to our office and talked to the other admin about him.

Now, you'd think that this would be evidence enough for my boss to listen to us about his attitude and work habits but, bless her heart, she thinks he hung the moon. She loves everybody and is really a great boss. She tries to find the good in everyone and encourages us all to. And usually I don't complain about people, but in this case I felt it was necessary to bring it up. She says she'll talk to him...we'll see.

I have a desk that, with the CPU for my computer, my monitor, my phone, pen cup, and stapler on it, has about 1.5 square feet left over for work space. And today, everybody felt the need to set their crap on it while they went on to other things, leaving me to deal with their stuff in addition to mine. 'Cause I have time for that.

Then there was the meeting this afternoon. It was a conference call, but I didn't know that because no one, including my boss and the other admin, thinks to tell me anything. I'm at the front friggin' desk, people...wouldn't it be nice if I had a clue what is going on in the office so I can help people when they walk in the front door? But, no. I didn't know. And, it was a conference call where people are supposed to call a toll-free number and enter a bridge number. The other admin leaves at 4:00, and at 4:25 I got a call from a meeting participant needing the bridge number. I don't have this info, so I call the other admin., who tells me the practice manager has it, and she's setting up the call. But she's really not setting up the call, because no one friggin' knows the bridge number (why we have to bother with the whole bridge number thing is beyond me, too. Every participant in the meeting works for us, but are in different offices. We have a conference phone in the conference room...I don't know). So, I call the other admin again, who tells me that she has the bridge number in her e-mail. I go break into her computer and get the info, and the stupid meeting starts.

By this point I'm wondering why I'm still at this stupid, lame company anyway and I can't move to another position because I don't have the right experience (even though I was told I didn't need it when I decided to apply) and I'm wasting my life in this stupid desert and raising my kids where they can't even go outside and play because we're in the stupid city and it's hot and humid and my stupid hair is frizzy and driving me nuts and I have to go to Mexico for a vacation and I don't even want to but my husband does and how do we know we won't be in some stupid non-working house that has holes in the roof and no air conditioning and the ocean looked close enough to the patio to be a tsunami and we're probably going to all be sucked into the ocean anyway and I need another nap and why in the world have I not progressed in my career beyond stupid receptionist work and...yeah. REALLY rational stuff. See? I shouldn't have gone to work today. I must've been a total JOY to be around. But I was, in fact, really pleasant to everyone all day, until the last hour, when everyone was ensconced safely in their little meeting and I could feel free to slam drawers and folders on desks and mutter and complain quietly. Hmmph!!

And, when I came home, I still felt sick. I think I really was/am sick. Because I've been much happier than this lately. Just not today.

Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug.

And, I think there's a limit to how long I can be without my family. I miss them.

Vegas, Baby!

Hi, there!

I'm back! I've been back since Sunday, but in typical Penny form, I haven't posted. Oh, didn't I tell you my name is Penny? It is. It's not Penelope. I was grateful for that. I was also very grateful to my mother, who insisted that they NOT go with my father's choice for my name...Effie Mae. Yeeeeaaaaaaahhh. I like my name. Not everyone has it. I wish I had red hair. I have reddish highlights in the sun, but my hair is brown. And a little gray here and there. But I digress...

We had a good time in Vegas. If any of you go, I would strongly recommend staying and hanging out on Fremont Street. It's the original "strip," I guess, but it is much smaller than "The Strip." It's also not as mobbed and crazy.

We stayed at the Golden Nugget. The pool was awesome! It was doughnut-shaped and in the middle was the shark tank. Above the whole works, and through, was the water slide. I went down once and nearly passed out. The instructions said to lie down with your arms crossed over your chest. Yeeeeaaahh...if you want to go down the slide at 65 mph and have water spraying into your face so that it's difficult to breathe. It looked too small to sit up in, and I'm a little claustrophobic, which I'm sure didn't help! I should have done it again, in more of a sitting position. I'm not usually afraid of stuff like that, but I'd spent all of breakfast looking up at the slide tube, thinking, "that doesn't look big enough to sit up in."

I was going to treat my friend and I to pedicures, but they were $65 each--ahh! I'm used to paying $16.99. We each got a massage in the Aquamassage machine at the Stratosphere, instead. We also went up into the top of the Stratosphere to the observation deck. It was neat. I think it's something like 1,000 feet up. My ears popped in the elevator! We then took the monorail to the far end of the strip and started our intended trek, which was to walk through all of the casinos.

Did I mention the Strip is large? We made it about halfway. We stopped for dinner/breakfast at 1:30 a.m. and decided to go back to our room, because we had to drive back the next day. I can honestly say that once you've seen one casino, you've pretty much seen them all. Tables, machines, smoke, loudness, flashing lights, cocktail waitresses. Yup, that's it. I can live without seeing every casino in Vegas. It's cool. Next time, I'm going to slow down and enjoy myself more. By the pool. Or reading in my room. Or playing my penny- and nickel-slot machines (the most I'll play is a nickel...I'm a serious gambler, man!). Or hey, maybe I could see a show next time.

My son is sitting next to me drawing the foundation for a house. He's decided he wants to be an architect. Cool!

My kids and husband are leaving tomorrow for a backpacking trip on the Mogollon Rim in
Arizona. They'll be gone until Wednesday. I'm planning to nap, knit and watch movies, and perhaps paint the hallway and living/dining room. 'Cause I'm exciting like that. Oh, and I'm going to shop for comfortable shoes. I nearly killed my feet last weekend, walking all over Vegas in my $13 Wal-Mart Special shoes. Ow!

Well, speaking of Ow!, my lower back and left arm have been hurting all day, and it's time for another hot shower. Be well, do good, and I'll see you back here soon!

What Happens in Vegas...

...when I'm there probably won't be nearly exciting enough to hide from anyone. I'm headed there with my friend tomorrow, for a wonderful weekend!

I heard our hotel (The Golden Nugget on Fremont Street) has a fantastic pool. There is a shark tank next to the pool, and the pool has a waterslide that somehow goes through the shark tank. I don't know...I'll let you know when I get back. Because, almost 40 or not, I'm goin' on the waterslide!! There's also a swim up bar. I haven't had a Pina Colada since 1993, but I may this weekend! I'm not sure I can resist having something at a swim-up bar sometime in my life! In other news this week...

Computer Hackers Suck! Yesterday I was sitting at work, talking to a co-worker, when all these little error-message-looking boxes kept coming up on my monitor. I mean, like 50 or 60 of them, one right after the other. It was kind of like when that lady in the Southwest Airlines commercial opens the "Pink Slip Virus" on her work computer. Except I hadn't opened anything. I was without a computer all day while our ever-so-patient and kind IT guru worked on it.

The kids came home from camp! I missed them. They had a great time and made fabulous crafts.

We (okay, my husband) installed two new toilets in our house. Bless his heart, he put the first one in, then turned around and said "I wonder if I can fix this sink." He turned the faucet on, and the handle broke off in his hand, spewing water all over the bathroom. I went to Lowe's to get a new faucet, and while I was gone, he thought he'd put the other toilet in. He got the old one off and started to attach the new one to the floor, but apparently there's an iron ring that is in the floor, that the toilet is supposed to attach to. It came out of the floor. So, the plumber came out and basically stopped the bleeding, we went to Motel 6 for the night (it was 9:30 when the 2nd toilet went awry), and actually got a good night's sleep! The next day, with a new iron ring in, the toilet attached just fine. The sink is still an issue, but with the bleeding stopped and with two other bathrooms, we're just leaving it be for now.

I had an evaluation at work and got a nice raise. I'm so blessed to be there!

I learned that sometimes friendships die, and sometimes they just need a break. I'm not sure which of those choices is happening with one of my friends, but it's okay. I love her anyway, and we'll be okay someday.

But now...a much-needed break in Las Vegas!! We leave tomorrow at 11:00.

Have a good weekend!

The RGBAs!!!

I couldn't think of a title for this blog entry, and I wanted to get right to it...so, here "it" is. First, I was blessed enough to be honored with a "Rockin' Girl Blogger" award from Jail Diet! (I am still excited. I changed my template to match--we can't have a clash-y blog, now!) Her blog is totally cool and I love reading it. She's a smart, fun, happenin' chick! Thanks, Jail!

I now have the honor of bestowing this award on others, If you've already received one, you must be really cool! Here's to:

Busy Bee Lauren. She's fresh and funny, yet deeply thoughful too. She writes really well and many of her stories get me laughing! She's a talented interior designer and has already won at least one award. She's educated me about shower gel and lotion, and she usually brightens my day. Thanks, Lauren!

A Dress A Day. I used to sew dresses when I was in elementary and junior high school, with my 4-H group. Since then, I haven't been much interested in sewing...until I found this blog! She is a talented seamstress who has the ability to make sewing, dress design, and the pros and cons of fabric fun and interesting. I find myself seeing dresses in a whole new way, now, all because of this blog. A Dress A Day is by Erin McKean, who is also a dictionary editor. There is a really official job title for that, but I can't think of what it is and can't find it on her blog. Check her out on Amazon.com, too!

My Salome Nature. She hasn't posted in awhile, and her most recent post is kind of sad. But I've heard from her very recently, and things are looking very much up. She's a fantastic mother who cherishes her son and is doing a fabulous job raising him. Her posts are from the heart and they ring true. She's a deep thinker and, I imagine, would be fun to get to know in person.

My Life-Just pretend you're interested. Another fantastic mother. She has such a beautiful family and cares so genuinely and so deeply for each of them. Her blog is funny, creative, and VERY musical!

Congratulations, all of you, and thank you for brightening my days!

Freedom!

Ahh...hear that?

Listen...

What do you hear?

Nothing! It's great! It's just me and my husband (well, okay; and the cats and dogs and fish) at home. Our kids went to family camp with their Grandma! Five quiet days, and four quiet nights.

Of course I love my children. I love them beyond reason. But it's still nice when I have time for myself. I may go see a movie tomorrow (I hear "Knocked Up" is funny), I need a swim suit for my trip this weekend, so I'll be finding that tomorow (see, I'll need comedy after that!). And I'm sleeping in. And watching as much television as I want, even if I don't go to the movies. I need to just chill. And this weekend, until Tuesday night, is perfect for that. It came at a much-needed time. And yes, I already miss my kids. But they'll be back. And I'll be here. And it'll be good.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Happy Monday, Everyone!

I got my grade for the 2nd half of Math for Elementary Educators tonight...an "A!" I'm still freaked that I'm getting good grades in math...two Bs, and now two As! I can live with that!

In two weeks I get to go to Las Vegas with a friend. She got us a free room at the Golden Nugget on Fremont Street with her husband's frequent flyer miles. He works for "an unnamed major defense contractor" and has to fly to Germany or Yemen or California or someplace similar a few times a year. We're planning to just hang out at the pool (not that I have a "hanging out at the pool" body, by any means) and drink fruity drinks with umbrellas and chillax, as the hip kids say. We've both got kids, husbands, and jobs; it will be good to take a break.

Then, sometime in the first 2 weeks of August, we're planning a family vacation to either Rocky Point, San Diego, or Yellowstone Park. We'd love to go to Yellowstone, but it is a long drive and I only have a week vacation for the summer (the rest I've saved for Christmas). I would be completely content going to San Diego because a) we can camp and make it cheap, b) the ocean is there, c) there's a roller coaster on one of the beaches that I haven't been on yet, d) being in California seriously ups my chances of accidentally running into Keanu Reeves (suuuuuure, that's gonna happen!), the hottest man alive besides my husband, e) the ocean is there, f) I love the ocean, g) we can go see the tide pools and look at the ocean, h) Coronado Island-who doesn't love that?, and i) because the ocean is there. Did I mention I love the ocean??

My husband is being completely without opinion, except of course he doesn't prefer San Diego because it can be expensive. This is the first year in a loooooonnnnnnnggggg time that we've had decent money to vacation with, because we've both been working and saving a little. But we have been to San Diego a few times, too. Rocky Point might be fun...who knows?

And, I shouldn't write this down because if I do, it might fall apart, but this coming Saturday I have the house all to myself! Shhhhh! The kids are off to family camp with their grandma (my mother-in-law), and my husband is working. I do not plan to get out of bed until I'm darn good and ready...and I may lie in there and read a book before I get up! I should, and probably will, make an appointment to get my hair cut, too. It's seriously unruly. We'll see what we'll see.

I wish all of you a very Happy Independence Day!! Do the fireworks safely!!

Today was weird, all around. People saying weird things, weird things happening with our mail that made no sense. Heck, we even got weird mail...about 40 big cardboard tubes with advertising for a local hospital. Do they know how many immunizations they could have given children with the money they spent on that??

I recently applied for another position in our company, and so did my co-worker. Apparently she was offered the job and turned it down because it didn't pay any more than she was already making. Then I was called in and told I didn't have enough experience. Now, this was after I nearly backed out of interviewing for it, but was convinced to interview anyway by the guy doing the hiring. He knew my experience level and said that my attitude and past experience could carry me a long way. He said he could train me, blah, blah, yadda, yadda. But--nope.
See--weird.

I finished Math for Elementary Educators tonight. I have my next class in September, and don't go back to campus until October (my September class is one-on-one with an instructor, via e-mail). I welcome the break!!

There are, of course, good things. Since I don't have a new job, we can go on vacation this summer. I can also take time off around Christmas, which I couldn't if I had this job. Plus, I truly do have a break...I don't have to learn a new job, and I don't have school for a few months.

It's a little painful, but I know God has a plan, and that His plan is better than mine. So I think I'm going to suck it up and keep keeping on.

Happy Weird Tuesday!

Just Another Manic Monday!

We celebrated our son's 10th birthday this past weekend by way of a camping trip with friends and family. We went to a campground near Blue Ridge Reservoir, about 30-40 miles northeast of Strawberry, Arizona.

It was a fun weekend. I left work Friday, picked up pop and water, picked up the dogs and the groceries from the house (well, most of them, anyway), and headed up "northeast." It was a winding drive up Hwy. 87, but my new ipod kept me company (they are really fun!). I arrived at camp a little after 10 p.m. and we stayed until Sunday afternoon. We hiked, ate too much, talked; there were some ham radio operators in the group and they did their thing, my husband enjoyed his new video camera, and I got to knit a little bit. My nephew had a blast on Saturday, and then vomited all night Saturday night...guess he had the flu.

When we left yesterday afternoon, I suddenly got VERY drowsy, which is not good when one is driving on a twisty, turny road with a daughter in the back seat. I prayed all the way to Payson, where we finally found a McDonald's (I know--yuck, but my daughter likes it and it was fast). I still had to fight to stay awake after we stopped, but it wasn't as bad.

We got home and one of the kids' friends (who was on the camping trip with us) came over to spend the night. The kids were all playing, and suddenly the friend came to me with big, crocodile tears. He said he wanted to go home. The kids were all really tired, actually, after a whole weekend up in the altitude running (literally) all weekend. So his mom came to get him, and before she did, I kept dozing off (while of course, thanking God that we had lived all the way down the mountains!!) waiting for her. And it was the kind of tired where I'd be listening to the TV, which was on, and somehow that would become part of my dream, but not in any way that made sense...I don't know if I'm making sense, actually. But it was weird.

Finally, friend's mom came, and huzbo and I went to bed. Where I continued to dream odd dreams. I woke up feeling fine this morning, and went to work. At about 1:00, I started getting cramps..BIG ones. Almost as bad as labor, but not quite. Then I started getting dizzy, and I got a big headache. Then I started feeling clammy. It was about 1:30, and I told my boss I thought I was getting the flu. She told me to go home, so I did. I was in real pain by the time I got here, and couldn't relieve it whether I was standing, sitting, or lying down. And no, I'm not pregnant. I finally laid down, and then kept dozing in and out, while needing to use the bathroom quite often (how's that for a euphamism?). My head was killing me, so I took two Excedrin Migraine, got a bag of ice, and put it at my feet (I'd heard if you get your feet cold, the blood will rush away from your head to warm your feet...uhhhmmmm, not exactly). Meanwhile, I watched a History Channel documentary about the Titanic, and what angle it was really at when it broke apart before sinking. Eventually I felt better, but it was a rough day! Guess I got the flu from my sweet nephew!

But now it's after midnight, and officially Tuesday, and I have my last class for a few weeks tomorrow night. So I'd better haul my butt to bed. Because as scintillating as my Math for Elementary Educators class is, I still need to get through the day tomorrow. Thanks for reading this far, if you made it. I know I sound like an elderly person, complaining about ailments and such. But hey, if you can't blog about it, then what's the point, right?

Have a pleasant Tuesday!

Time Travel Thursday

This week's Time Travel Thursday is brought to you by Courage. When you're not sure, do it anyway, and do it with feeling! You were probably right in the first place.

Come with me, if you will, to August, 1985. I was raised in a town of about 400 permanent residents, called Alden, Michigan. An odd chain of events had brought me to the tiny campus of Graceland College in Lamoni, Iowa. I had originally planned to attend Central Michigan University (being from Michigan, and all), but when I went to my final year of church camp, one of my good friends convinced me to change my mind. So, I called Graceland College, asked if I could possibly reinstate the financial aid package I'd turned down a few months before; then called Central Michigan University, coincidentally on the last possible day to get a full refund of my deposit, and told them I wasn't coming. Little ole' me, who had only been out of michigan to go to Cedar Point (an amusement park in Sandusky, OH) and Canada, just across the river from Detroit, packed up my life, left my fairly serious boyfriend who was being wishy-washy anyway, and traveled with the aforementioned good friend and her family to Lamoni, Iowa. Population not many.

But, it was mid-August. Soon, over 2,000 people would converge on the small town in the form of students. I still marvel that I thought 2,000 was a huge number of people. There are probably at least that many within a block's radius of my house.

Graceland College (now Graceland University) is sponsored by the Community of Christ, which was formerly The Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You can see why they thought a name change would be nice, eh? I'd been born into this church and raised in it, and it was cool to be going to "our" college. But when the station wagon with my friend's family in it drove away, leaving my friend and me staring at the red glow of tail lights driving out of the parking lot and into the sunset, it seemed less "cool," and more like the most frightening, stupid, crazy decision I'd ever made. What was I thinking!

It was time for dinner, though, and my friend and I went into the commons. Do you know what a "commons" is? I had no idea. It's Graceland's word for cafeteria or dining hall or place where your food resides. It was named after Floyd McDowell. I guess he must have been a big eater.

So we walk into Floyd McDowell Commons. And there's a line. A big one. Goes all the way to the basement down a big, wide stairway. Since we'll be there for a while, and since I'm scared to death and want my mommy, but she's hundreds of miles away, I decide it'd be a good thing to make friends. I started talking to this boy in front of me. He had on a white tank top with navy blue edging, and across the front, Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix was in navy blue letters. The Phoenixs started higher up on the right side in solid letters, then the middle one was in the middle (huh! who'd have figured?) in a lighter pattern, and then the last one was lower and in a much lighter pattern.

I opened the conversation with some witty repartee:
"Phoenix...that's in Arizona, right?"
The boy was very polite, and said "yes, it's the capital." Then I thought I'd be cool and make him feel like a college student: "you must be a freshman."
"Yes," said the boy.
"And where do you go to school?"
"Here," he said, starting to look at me like I may have been dropped on my head. That day.
"Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry! You just look so..."
"Young. I know. I get that all the time. Nope, this is my first year here."
"Oh." (More witty repartee, as you can see)
"Are you sitting with anyone at dinner?"
"Just my friend, Anna.* Oh, this is my friend, Anna."

We all sat together at dinner, and we had roasted chicken. I remember that, because I had never seen anyone eat roasted chicken like he did. He could have survived three weeks on one piece. He got EVERY LAST BIT of anything resembling meat off the bones. I was amazed. And a little nauseous.

After dinner, we parted ways and got settled in our rooms, etc. Anna wasn't on the same hall as me, but when I went to see her room, I noticed where the bathroom was. Later that night, I went in to take a shower. I thought it was odd that we had to walk so far, even through the lobby of the dorm! But, I'd never to college before, so whatever. I got my shower, went back to my room, and as I did, I noticed the bathroom (complete with showers!) on OUR hall. Oh, well. I hope the parents and students in the lobby liked my mint green terrycloth robe and the towel I'd wrapped my hair in(I was perhaps a LITTLE out of my element!).

The next day I saw The Boy again. He was easy to spot...he always wore a hat. He had mostly colored fishing hats, those that old men wear, cotton with a contrasting stripe. His were all very brightly colored. He also had bright green shorts with the craziest, most colorful patterns on them. This was, after all, the 80's. But anyway, I saw The Boy walking across the lawn in front of Floyd McDowell Commons. He had on a yellow fishing hat with an orange stripe that day. I remember, because when I said hi to him, he tipped his hat! How many people do that anymore? Even then. We decidede to get together with Anna and play Trivial Pursuit that night.

We met in the lounge in the girls' dorm, which was in a loft above the main lobby. We played for a long time, and then talked for a while after that. Anna eventually excused herself to go to bed. She had a job in housekeeping and had to be up early. I had a job at F M Commons and started at 5:00 a.m., but I didn't feel like going to bed yet.

I found a notice on a bulletin board about a drama club forming, so Anna and I went to the theatre for the meeting. After all, I'd loved being in our high school plays. I'd been some type of talent agent in "Seasons in the Sun," and I'd played Frenchy in "Grease." Anna said she'd like to go, and I thought it would be fun. I walked in, and there was The Boy. It turns out he was majoring in theatre.

The three of us were becoming good friends, and hanging around having fun together. We'd play Trivial Pursuit, watch movies or the news together, go to town and see what was going on there (not much, by the way). I've always related better to males than females, and it was fun to have a new friend.

But then, one day, The Boy asked if Anna and I wanted to go to a movie in the student center. I asked Anna, and she said no, she'd better study. We saw The Karate Kid without her. Then there was a mixer/dance on the lawn outside our dorm. The three of us made plans to go, but then Anna had homework to do and about an hour before we were supposed to leave, told me she couldn't come.

I had noticed she "couldn't" get together very often anymore, and when she canceled for the dance, I finally asked her if she was upset. Did she feel excluded? I certainly didn't want that. Was he some jerk that was freaking her out, and I just didn't notice? Anna gave me a look that said, "get your head out of your butt, dummy!" But she didn't say that. She wouldn't. She was a preacher's daughter and she was, if nothing else, kind and sweet and good. "No," she said, "can't you see what's happening? He likes you. You guys would be a great couple." Then I felt bad. I said, "well, I am kind of starting to like him, but our friendship means more to me than a guy..."

"No," she said. "We'll still be friends. I did think I liked him for a little while, but really, he's not my type. He's more like a brother to me. He lights up when he sees you, and you do the same when you see him. I think you two need to be alone."

So, I went to the dance with The Boy. I explained that Anna couldn't be there, and he and I danced for awhile. It was so hot that night, everyone at the dance was practically dripping. The Boy said, "let's go sit for awhile," and we went to a quieter part of the lawn. As he sat down on a road box (from the band playing at the dance-I couldn't tell you who they were), I noticed he was REALLY out of breath. His body was almost rocking back and forth, and he was literlly dripping sweat. I asked him if he was okay, and he said "feel this." He took my hand and put it at the pulse point at the base of his neck--his heart rate was sky high! I'm not a medical person, but it was at least three times the normal rate. I went to get him some water, and by the time I came back, he was fine again.

At that moment, after the crisis had passed, I knew. Like they said in the movie "When Harry Met Sally," I knew the way you know about a good melon. He was The One. It wasn't a magical, star-studded, swelling-music moment. There were no violins. I just knew. It was more than love, it was, as corny as it sounds, a certainty that we were meant to be together.

It took him longer. We had our first "real" date on my birthday, September 14. He took me out for dinner, to The Pizza Shack in Lamoni. He wanted me to try a ham and pineapple pizza. I'd never heard of it, but didn't want to be a drag, so I tried it...it was delicious! Afterward, we went to my dorm to get the presents I'd saved to open, ones sent by my family for my birthday. We walked to the park, and in the middle of the park was a red caboose. We thought it was cool, so we went inside it and climbed around a bit, then I opened my presents from home. I got a pink long-sleeved t-shirt with the words Torch Lake screen printed on it in navy letters from my parents, and a stuffed "Odie" (from the comic strip "Garfield") from my sister. The Boy said he didn't have much money to buy me a present, but he produced a gift bag anyway. Inside the bag was a bottle of Cherry Coke. He'd been around me enough to know that I liked that. I was so touched! I thought it was incredibly thoughtful and sweet of him to do...he'd already bought dinner, after all.

I thanked him for sharing my birthday with me, my first without my family. I was sitting there on the bench, just smiling and thinking how happy I was. And he was sitting next to me smiling...when suddenly we looked at each other, and this was just like the movies...our heads slowly came together until we kissed. It was perfect, the best kiss I've ever had.

We dated the whole year, went to our formals (like a prom, but for college students) together, and were together every spare moment. We did theatre together and he taught me the backstage stuff. We spent hours and hours together doing shows, painting scenery, walking through parks, he came to the football games because I was in the band. And then, in about February, we were in a different park. The snow was melting, and we were by a river with one of those 6 foot diameter galvanized pipes that they use to route a river under a road. I said, "so, the school year is ending soon."
"Yes," said the boy."
I knew he wasn't planning on coming back for the next year, so I said, "It looks like we'll have to part ways."
"I don't want to," said The Boy.
"Neither do I, but what choice do we have? You're not coming back."
"No," he said, "but you could come with me."
"To Arizona?" (By now, I had a firmer grasp on geography.)
"Yes," he said. "There are lots of places to go to school there, and lots of jobs. You could make a living and still go to school."

And so, that's what we did. I packed up my life once again, and moved it even further west, to Phoenix. In November of 1988 we were married, both of us at the wise, ripe old age of 21. And today, almost 19 years later, we are still married. He's still a great kisser. He's a great father to our two kids. I'm just now getting back to school, but that was my choice. He's still working in theatre, as a technical director now. He's still the one person I can really talk to and remain myself, not having to fit into someone else's mold of what I "should" be. We've been through hell and back together more than once. And he still looks young (though being married to me all these years, I don't know how). The Boy is Tony. And he still buys me Cherry Coke when he wants to make me smile!


*"Anna" is not her real name.

Randomness

We finished painting our bedroom this past weekend. We also got rid of a bunch of junk, rearranged the furniture, and cut out the carpet (not in that particular order, actually). We'll eventually lay down new flooring; perhaps Pergo or it's cheaper, knock-off cousin. No carpet. Carpet and the desert don't do well together. Carpet collects so much dust. It's not good for allergy sufferers, like our entire family. So, carpet is history. For us.

We refinanced our house, and in so doing, learned it appraised for far more than I expected...yay, God! This little gem of information will help us purchase the Pergo. And the three toilets we want to replace, and more paint, and facia board for the outside of our house. And more paint for the outside. And heck, maybe even an automatic sprinkler system, if I can get brave enough to put one together and install it. But we're not doing the outside until fall.

Why procrastinate, you ask? I live in Phoenix. It was 110 degrees today, with temperatures up to 115 expected by the weekend. Happily, we'll be out of town, camping, for my son's 10th birthday. He wanted to. And, it's a heck of a lot of fun! And much cooler, too.

I checked my personal e-mail probably 16 times today at work. I almost bought 2 Coconut Lime Verbena and 2 Mango Mandarin lotions from Bath & Body Works online today at work. There's a buy-3-get-one-free sale going on. But then the total was $35.00 and change, and I thought, nah. There was, obviously, not much going on at work today. Oh, there will be. We've got a 3,000 piece mailing to get out this week. But the other admin, who swore up and down she'd ordered the envelopes for this mailing...didn't. So now I've printed 3,000 labels and...and I'm waiting.

It's kind of funny. I went to a Franklin Covey seminar not long ago because I felt completely disorganized and at loose ends at work. Now I've put everything in my planner, and it's all done. And I have nothing to do. I know I shouldn't actually say that out loud or in writing, because when I do, things start to mysteriously pile up. But you know, after twiddling my thumbs trying to look busy today, I'm up for something to do. So I don't fear writing it down. I may be busy, but at least the dang clock will move! There's nothing more frustrating than being at work with nothing to do. And no, I had no projects that I'd ignored...they were all in my planner and got done! The Franklin Covey course, by the way, was called "Focus." Totally worth your boss's money. It was really, truly wonderful.

Today after work, I stopped at Safeway (a grocery store) to grab a loaf of bread...we were out. I bought my bread and went out to the car. I was kind of in a hurry to pick up the kids from grandma's house, because although she is totally fabulous in every way with them, I don't want to take advantage of her incredible generosity. She really is that great...and she loves my kids like they're her own. But I digress...so, I'm walking through the parking lot in 110 degree heat, which, if you haven't done, sucks. I get almost to my car, and this guy walks out from between two other cars (I really don't think he was trying to sneak, we just both walked that direction at the same time) and says "Ma'am, can I ask you a question?" I didn't expect him and was startled, and then I got really irritated. I snapped, "No!" and then got into my car fast and locked the door. Then I called the store (because the receipt had the number) and told them they had a panhandler in the parking lot.

I am usually not like that at all. I've actually emptied my wallet to give to someone who asked me for money (okay, I don't carry much cash, ever, so it wasn't that big a deal). I'm a big believer in the part of the Bible that says that when we do things for others, we are really doing them for Christ. I've given money to guys at street corners. I did call the police on one street corner guy, but only because he had a baby--no kidding, an actual infant, in a baby seat out in the sun next to him. Then, I didn't feel guilty...you DO NOT EVER sit a baby outside in the sun here. People overheat very quickly, and the little critter didn't even have a hat on! I am telling you all of this not so you'll think I'm a fabulous person. I'm not. But I don't usually get mad and just "snap" like that at people who need help. I don't know what got into me today. I just remember feeling totally vulnerable, and the only thing going through my head, was "Get in your car and lock the door." Weird.

Today I took my kids and my niece and nephew to Bible School. It was wonderful. I called in to work to tell them I'd be late, took the kids, had a nice conversation with my niece (she's 12; the others are between 7 and 10), then stopped at Einstein Brothers for a bagel and coffee, which meant that I actually got breakfast! It's a whole different day when I eat breakfast, take my medication, and take vitamins! Maybe I should do that more often. Only next time, I'm tryingi the medium roast instead of dark. I liked the dark, but it was a bit too...dark, I guess.

Well, it's late and the sleepies are catching up to me. Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow!