Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Today was weird, all around. People saying weird things, weird things happening with our mail that made no sense. Heck, we even got weird mail...about 40 big cardboard tubes with advertising for a local hospital. Do they know how many immunizations they could have given children with the money they spent on that??

I recently applied for another position in our company, and so did my co-worker. Apparently she was offered the job and turned it down because it didn't pay any more than she was already making. Then I was called in and told I didn't have enough experience. Now, this was after I nearly backed out of interviewing for it, but was convinced to interview anyway by the guy doing the hiring. He knew my experience level and said that my attitude and past experience could carry me a long way. He said he could train me, blah, blah, yadda, yadda. But--nope.
See--weird.

I finished Math for Elementary Educators tonight. I have my next class in September, and don't go back to campus until October (my September class is one-on-one with an instructor, via e-mail). I welcome the break!!

There are, of course, good things. Since I don't have a new job, we can go on vacation this summer. I can also take time off around Christmas, which I couldn't if I had this job. Plus, I truly do have a break...I don't have to learn a new job, and I don't have school for a few months.

It's a little painful, but I know God has a plan, and that His plan is better than mine. So I think I'm going to suck it up and keep keeping on.

Happy Weird Tuesday!

Monday, June 25, 2007

Just Another Manic Monday!

We celebrated our son's 10th birthday this past weekend by way of a camping trip with friends and family. We went to a campground near Blue Ridge Reservoir, about 30-40 miles northeast of Strawberry, Arizona.

It was a fun weekend. I left work Friday, picked up pop and water, picked up the dogs and the groceries from the house (well, most of them, anyway), and headed up "northeast." It was a winding drive up Hwy. 87, but my new ipod kept me company (they are really fun!). I arrived at camp a little after 10 p.m. and we stayed until Sunday afternoon. We hiked, ate too much, talked; there were some ham radio operators in the group and they did their thing, my husband enjoyed his new video camera, and I got to knit a little bit. My nephew had a blast on Saturday, and then vomited all night Saturday night...guess he had the flu.

When we left yesterday afternoon, I suddenly got VERY drowsy, which is not good when one is driving on a twisty, turny road with a daughter in the back seat. I prayed all the way to Payson, where we finally found a McDonald's (I know--yuck, but my daughter likes it and it was fast). I still had to fight to stay awake after we stopped, but it wasn't as bad.

We got home and one of the kids' friends (who was on the camping trip with us) came over to spend the night. The kids were all playing, and suddenly the friend came to me with big, crocodile tears. He said he wanted to go home. The kids were all really tired, actually, after a whole weekend up in the altitude running (literally) all weekend. So his mom came to get him, and before she did, I kept dozing off (while of course, thanking God that we had lived all the way down the mountains!!) waiting for her. And it was the kind of tired where I'd be listening to the TV, which was on, and somehow that would become part of my dream, but not in any way that made sense...I don't know if I'm making sense, actually. But it was weird.

Finally, friend's mom came, and huzbo and I went to bed. Where I continued to dream odd dreams. I woke up feeling fine this morning, and went to work. At about 1:00, I started getting cramps..BIG ones. Almost as bad as labor, but not quite. Then I started getting dizzy, and I got a big headache. Then I started feeling clammy. It was about 1:30, and I told my boss I thought I was getting the flu. She told me to go home, so I did. I was in real pain by the time I got here, and couldn't relieve it whether I was standing, sitting, or lying down. And no, I'm not pregnant. I finally laid down, and then kept dozing in and out, while needing to use the bathroom quite often (how's that for a euphamism?). My head was killing me, so I took two Excedrin Migraine, got a bag of ice, and put it at my feet (I'd heard if you get your feet cold, the blood will rush away from your head to warm your feet...uhhhmmmm, not exactly). Meanwhile, I watched a History Channel documentary about the Titanic, and what angle it was really at when it broke apart before sinking. Eventually I felt better, but it was a rough day! Guess I got the flu from my sweet nephew!

But now it's after midnight, and officially Tuesday, and I have my last class for a few weeks tomorrow night. So I'd better haul my butt to bed. Because as scintillating as my Math for Elementary Educators class is, I still need to get through the day tomorrow. Thanks for reading this far, if you made it. I know I sound like an elderly person, complaining about ailments and such. But hey, if you can't blog about it, then what's the point, right?

Have a pleasant Tuesday!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Time Travel Thursday

This week's Time Travel Thursday is brought to you by Courage. When you're not sure, do it anyway, and do it with feeling! You were probably right in the first place.

Come with me, if you will, to August, 1985. I was raised in a town of about 400 permanent residents, called Alden, Michigan. An odd chain of events had brought me to the tiny campus of Graceland College in Lamoni, Iowa. I had originally planned to attend Central Michigan University (being from Michigan, and all), but when I went to my final year of church camp, one of my good friends convinced me to change my mind. So, I called Graceland College, asked if I could possibly reinstate the financial aid package I'd turned down a few months before; then called Central Michigan University, coincidentally on the last possible day to get a full refund of my deposit, and told them I wasn't coming. Little ole' me, who had only been out of michigan to go to Cedar Point (an amusement park in Sandusky, OH) and Canada, just across the river from Detroit, packed up my life, left my fairly serious boyfriend who was being wishy-washy anyway, and traveled with the aforementioned good friend and her family to Lamoni, Iowa. Population not many.

But, it was mid-August. Soon, over 2,000 people would converge on the small town in the form of students. I still marvel that I thought 2,000 was a huge number of people. There are probably at least that many within a block's radius of my house.

Graceland College (now Graceland University) is sponsored by the Community of Christ, which was formerly The Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You can see why they thought a name change would be nice, eh? I'd been born into this church and raised in it, and it was cool to be going to "our" college. But when the station wagon with my friend's family in it drove away, leaving my friend and me staring at the red glow of tail lights driving out of the parking lot and into the sunset, it seemed less "cool," and more like the most frightening, stupid, crazy decision I'd ever made. What was I thinking!

It was time for dinner, though, and my friend and I went into the commons. Do you know what a "commons" is? I had no idea. It's Graceland's word for cafeteria or dining hall or place where your food resides. It was named after Floyd McDowell. I guess he must have been a big eater.

So we walk into Floyd McDowell Commons. And there's a line. A big one. Goes all the way to the basement down a big, wide stairway. Since we'll be there for a while, and since I'm scared to death and want my mommy, but she's hundreds of miles away, I decide it'd be a good thing to make friends. I started talking to this boy in front of me. He had on a white tank top with navy blue edging, and across the front, Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix was in navy blue letters. The Phoenixs started higher up on the right side in solid letters, then the middle one was in the middle (huh! who'd have figured?) in a lighter pattern, and then the last one was lower and in a much lighter pattern.

I opened the conversation with some witty repartee:
"Phoenix...that's in Arizona, right?"
The boy was very polite, and said "yes, it's the capital." Then I thought I'd be cool and make him feel like a college student: "you must be a freshman."
"Yes," said the boy.
"And where do you go to school?"
"Here," he said, starting to look at me like I may have been dropped on my head. That day.
"Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry! You just look so..."
"Young. I know. I get that all the time. Nope, this is my first year here."
"Oh." (More witty repartee, as you can see)
"Are you sitting with anyone at dinner?"
"Just my friend, Anna.* Oh, this is my friend, Anna."

We all sat together at dinner, and we had roasted chicken. I remember that, because I had never seen anyone eat roasted chicken like he did. He could have survived three weeks on one piece. He got EVERY LAST BIT of anything resembling meat off the bones. I was amazed. And a little nauseous.

After dinner, we parted ways and got settled in our rooms, etc. Anna wasn't on the same hall as me, but when I went to see her room, I noticed where the bathroom was. Later that night, I went in to take a shower. I thought it was odd that we had to walk so far, even through the lobby of the dorm! But, I'd never to college before, so whatever. I got my shower, went back to my room, and as I did, I noticed the bathroom (complete with showers!) on OUR hall. Oh, well. I hope the parents and students in the lobby liked my mint green terrycloth robe and the towel I'd wrapped my hair in(I was perhaps a LITTLE out of my element!).

The next day I saw The Boy again. He was easy to spot...he always wore a hat. He had mostly colored fishing hats, those that old men wear, cotton with a contrasting stripe. His were all very brightly colored. He also had bright green shorts with the craziest, most colorful patterns on them. This was, after all, the 80's. But anyway, I saw The Boy walking across the lawn in front of Floyd McDowell Commons. He had on a yellow fishing hat with an orange stripe that day. I remember, because when I said hi to him, he tipped his hat! How many people do that anymore? Even then. We decidede to get together with Anna and play Trivial Pursuit that night.

We met in the lounge in the girls' dorm, which was in a loft above the main lobby. We played for a long time, and then talked for a while after that. Anna eventually excused herself to go to bed. She had a job in housekeeping and had to be up early. I had a job at F M Commons and started at 5:00 a.m., but I didn't feel like going to bed yet.

I found a notice on a bulletin board about a drama club forming, so Anna and I went to the theatre for the meeting. After all, I'd loved being in our high school plays. I'd been some type of talent agent in "Seasons in the Sun," and I'd played Frenchy in "Grease." Anna said she'd like to go, and I thought it would be fun. I walked in, and there was The Boy. It turns out he was majoring in theatre.

The three of us were becoming good friends, and hanging around having fun together. We'd play Trivial Pursuit, watch movies or the news together, go to town and see what was going on there (not much, by the way). I've always related better to males than females, and it was fun to have a new friend.

But then, one day, The Boy asked if Anna and I wanted to go to a movie in the student center. I asked Anna, and she said no, she'd better study. We saw The Karate Kid without her. Then there was a mixer/dance on the lawn outside our dorm. The three of us made plans to go, but then Anna had homework to do and about an hour before we were supposed to leave, told me she couldn't come.

I had noticed she "couldn't" get together very often anymore, and when she canceled for the dance, I finally asked her if she was upset. Did she feel excluded? I certainly didn't want that. Was he some jerk that was freaking her out, and I just didn't notice? Anna gave me a look that said, "get your head out of your butt, dummy!" But she didn't say that. She wouldn't. She was a preacher's daughter and she was, if nothing else, kind and sweet and good. "No," she said, "can't you see what's happening? He likes you. You guys would be a great couple." Then I felt bad. I said, "well, I am kind of starting to like him, but our friendship means more to me than a guy..."

"No," she said. "We'll still be friends. I did think I liked him for a little while, but really, he's not my type. He's more like a brother to me. He lights up when he sees you, and you do the same when you see him. I think you two need to be alone."

So, I went to the dance with The Boy. I explained that Anna couldn't be there, and he and I danced for awhile. It was so hot that night, everyone at the dance was practically dripping. The Boy said, "let's go sit for awhile," and we went to a quieter part of the lawn. As he sat down on a road box (from the band playing at the dance-I couldn't tell you who they were), I noticed he was REALLY out of breath. His body was almost rocking back and forth, and he was literlly dripping sweat. I asked him if he was okay, and he said "feel this." He took my hand and put it at the pulse point at the base of his neck--his heart rate was sky high! I'm not a medical person, but it was at least three times the normal rate. I went to get him some water, and by the time I came back, he was fine again.

At that moment, after the crisis had passed, I knew. Like they said in the movie "When Harry Met Sally," I knew the way you know about a good melon. He was The One. It wasn't a magical, star-studded, swelling-music moment. There were no violins. I just knew. It was more than love, it was, as corny as it sounds, a certainty that we were meant to be together.

It took him longer. We had our first "real" date on my birthday, September 14. He took me out for dinner, to The Pizza Shack in Lamoni. He wanted me to try a ham and pineapple pizza. I'd never heard of it, but didn't want to be a drag, so I tried it...it was delicious! Afterward, we went to my dorm to get the presents I'd saved to open, ones sent by my family for my birthday. We walked to the park, and in the middle of the park was a red caboose. We thought it was cool, so we went inside it and climbed around a bit, then I opened my presents from home. I got a pink long-sleeved t-shirt with the words Torch Lake screen printed on it in navy letters from my parents, and a stuffed "Odie" (from the comic strip "Garfield") from my sister. The Boy said he didn't have much money to buy me a present, but he produced a gift bag anyway. Inside the bag was a bottle of Cherry Coke. He'd been around me enough to know that I liked that. I was so touched! I thought it was incredibly thoughtful and sweet of him to do...he'd already bought dinner, after all.

I thanked him for sharing my birthday with me, my first without my family. I was sitting there on the bench, just smiling and thinking how happy I was. And he was sitting next to me smiling...when suddenly we looked at each other, and this was just like the movies...our heads slowly came together until we kissed. It was perfect, the best kiss I've ever had.

We dated the whole year, went to our formals (like a prom, but for college students) together, and were together every spare moment. We did theatre together and he taught me the backstage stuff. We spent hours and hours together doing shows, painting scenery, walking through parks, he came to the football games because I was in the band. And then, in about February, we were in a different park. The snow was melting, and we were by a river with one of those 6 foot diameter galvanized pipes that they use to route a river under a road. I said, "so, the school year is ending soon."
"Yes," said the boy."
I knew he wasn't planning on coming back for the next year, so I said, "It looks like we'll have to part ways."
"I don't want to," said The Boy.
"Neither do I, but what choice do we have? You're not coming back."
"No," he said, "but you could come with me."
"To Arizona?" (By now, I had a firmer grasp on geography.)
"Yes," he said. "There are lots of places to go to school there, and lots of jobs. You could make a living and still go to school."

And so, that's what we did. I packed up my life once again, and moved it even further west, to Phoenix. In November of 1988 we were married, both of us at the wise, ripe old age of 21. And today, almost 19 years later, we are still married. He's still a great kisser. He's a great father to our two kids. I'm just now getting back to school, but that was my choice. He's still working in theatre, as a technical director now. He's still the one person I can really talk to and remain myself, not having to fit into someone else's mold of what I "should" be. We've been through hell and back together more than once. And he still looks young (though being married to me all these years, I don't know how). The Boy is Tony. And he still buys me Cherry Coke when he wants to make me smile!


*"Anna" is not her real name.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Randomness

We finished painting our bedroom this past weekend. We also got rid of a bunch of junk, rearranged the furniture, and cut out the carpet (not in that particular order, actually). We'll eventually lay down new flooring; perhaps Pergo or it's cheaper, knock-off cousin. No carpet. Carpet and the desert don't do well together. Carpet collects so much dust. It's not good for allergy sufferers, like our entire family. So, carpet is history. For us.

We refinanced our house, and in so doing, learned it appraised for far more than I expected...yay, God! This little gem of information will help us purchase the Pergo. And the three toilets we want to replace, and more paint, and facia board for the outside of our house. And more paint for the outside. And heck, maybe even an automatic sprinkler system, if I can get brave enough to put one together and install it. But we're not doing the outside until fall.

Why procrastinate, you ask? I live in Phoenix. It was 110 degrees today, with temperatures up to 115 expected by the weekend. Happily, we'll be out of town, camping, for my son's 10th birthday. He wanted to. And, it's a heck of a lot of fun! And much cooler, too.

I checked my personal e-mail probably 16 times today at work. I almost bought 2 Coconut Lime Verbena and 2 Mango Mandarin lotions from Bath & Body Works online today at work. There's a buy-3-get-one-free sale going on. But then the total was $35.00 and change, and I thought, nah. There was, obviously, not much going on at work today. Oh, there will be. We've got a 3,000 piece mailing to get out this week. But the other admin, who swore up and down she'd ordered the envelopes for this mailing...didn't. So now I've printed 3,000 labels and...and I'm waiting.

It's kind of funny. I went to a Franklin Covey seminar not long ago because I felt completely disorganized and at loose ends at work. Now I've put everything in my planner, and it's all done. And I have nothing to do. I know I shouldn't actually say that out loud or in writing, because when I do, things start to mysteriously pile up. But you know, after twiddling my thumbs trying to look busy today, I'm up for something to do. So I don't fear writing it down. I may be busy, but at least the dang clock will move! There's nothing more frustrating than being at work with nothing to do. And no, I had no projects that I'd ignored...they were all in my planner and got done! The Franklin Covey course, by the way, was called "Focus." Totally worth your boss's money. It was really, truly wonderful.

Today after work, I stopped at Safeway (a grocery store) to grab a loaf of bread...we were out. I bought my bread and went out to the car. I was kind of in a hurry to pick up the kids from grandma's house, because although she is totally fabulous in every way with them, I don't want to take advantage of her incredible generosity. She really is that great...and she loves my kids like they're her own. But I digress...so, I'm walking through the parking lot in 110 degree heat, which, if you haven't done, sucks. I get almost to my car, and this guy walks out from between two other cars (I really don't think he was trying to sneak, we just both walked that direction at the same time) and says "Ma'am, can I ask you a question?" I didn't expect him and was startled, and then I got really irritated. I snapped, "No!" and then got into my car fast and locked the door. Then I called the store (because the receipt had the number) and told them they had a panhandler in the parking lot.

I am usually not like that at all. I've actually emptied my wallet to give to someone who asked me for money (okay, I don't carry much cash, ever, so it wasn't that big a deal). I'm a big believer in the part of the Bible that says that when we do things for others, we are really doing them for Christ. I've given money to guys at street corners. I did call the police on one street corner guy, but only because he had a baby--no kidding, an actual infant, in a baby seat out in the sun next to him. Then, I didn't feel guilty...you DO NOT EVER sit a baby outside in the sun here. People overheat very quickly, and the little critter didn't even have a hat on! I am telling you all of this not so you'll think I'm a fabulous person. I'm not. But I don't usually get mad and just "snap" like that at people who need help. I don't know what got into me today. I just remember feeling totally vulnerable, and the only thing going through my head, was "Get in your car and lock the door." Weird.

Today I took my kids and my niece and nephew to Bible School. It was wonderful. I called in to work to tell them I'd be late, took the kids, had a nice conversation with my niece (she's 12; the others are between 7 and 10), then stopped at Einstein Brothers for a bagel and coffee, which meant that I actually got breakfast! It's a whole different day when I eat breakfast, take my medication, and take vitamins! Maybe I should do that more often. Only next time, I'm tryingi the medium roast instead of dark. I liked the dark, but it was a bit too...dark, I guess.

Well, it's late and the sleepies are catching up to me. Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow!

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Done!

Well, I mis-spoke in my last post. I didn't accomplish all that alone...God was there with me, giving me energy and keeping me going!


"We" finished the following:

-primed the ginormous ceiling patch.
-filled the plaster that's cracked next to our bed (plaster is a royal pain, by the way!).
-Decided not to prime that cracked plaster, because it's so thin it doesnt need texturing. I think.
-paint primer on the bathroom ceiling (but I didn't do the window yet. I may, later. The primer is oil-based, and wow, is it strong smelling!
-I'm out for dinner. Then I'm watching movies and knitting, unless I get a big spurt of energy after I eat. Not terribly likely.

God is good. It's a good day. There is a bunch of stuff done in my house, and I feel lots better. And lots more tired. And hungry. But good.

A Productive Day!

Hello, all you out there in readerland! Today, we're starting the "big remodel." So far, I have:

-made waffles for my son for breakfast (my daughter doesn't like waffles-she had an apple and cheese).
-made lunch.
-patched a hole in my wall which was made by my doorknob.
-spackled that.
-scraped the damaged paint off our ceiling from our roof leak years ago ('bout time, eh?).
-spackled an approximately 3 x 3 foot patch of ceiling, covering all the damaged area, so I can re-texture it.
-killed a cockroach
-killed a very large black widow spider (I was getting the primer paint from the back storeroom).
-primed the former doorknob hole so I can texture it successfully (says the can of orange peel).
-primed some other little holes I filled in "while I was at it."

And I am about to:

-prime the ginormous ceiling patch.
-fill the plaster that's cracked next to our bed (plaster is a royal pain, by the way!).
-prime that.
-paint primer on the bathroom ceiling and window (okay, we have hardly any windows in our house, but by golly, there's one in the bathroom! It doesn't open, it's too high to see out of, and it lets in the ridiculously hot desert sun on the west side of the house, and projects said sunlight to the thermostat in the hallway. Love the window).
-sit and knit and watch movies.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Friday, June 01, 2007

It's Been Awhile...

It's been awhile since I discussed my walk with Jesus, the whole reason for the name change on my blog. March, actually. Quite a while indeed.

I was thinking about it last night and started to write about it, but then I my husband came home and I started watching a movie and totally forgot that I was writing. But, here I am now, with a few minutes free before we head to Home Depot (big "project" weekend at the house this weekend), and I wanted to give this a shot again.

As I said in my March post, choosing to follow Jesus has been a great decision for me. It's freeing. I am now a much better "praise-er," and I actually understand what praising God is. I understand what I was missing in my former religion, the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. No, it's not the Mormon church, but an offshoot of it. I know you won't believe me; everyone I tell this to can't believe there's a difference. But there is. I won't go into all the differences now, because I want to say that it's also been a fairly difficult thing for me to leave my "religion."

When I was born, my family were members of the RLDS church. I went to the church on Sundays and made very good friends there. Close friends. When I was old enough, I went to church camps with my very good friends I'd made, and in many ways, church camp was the happiest part of my life. I met more good friends there, and I went there every summer, from the summer after I finished 3rd grade until the summer after I graduated high school. It was a beautiful campground called Park of the Pines in northern Michigan. It had three terraces (it was in kind of hilly terrain), and there was the lower level where the campground met up with Lake Charlevoix and where our campfire circle was, the middle level where most of the camp buildings were located, and the upper level that was used mostly for "Reunion," a kind of family camp also in the summer. There was a bathroom up there, and a kickin' swing set (I still love to swing on swings!), and lots and lots of spaces for RVs to hook up to. The baseball diamond was up there, too, but I didn't care much about sports.

I can remember being in the Primary arts & crafts class when I was a little kid. I remember the smell of paste and old, weathered wood that made up the building. I remember the smell of the dining hall, and the clean-but-sticky-from-humidity vinyl tablecloths, the little white plastic butter dishes with yellow daisies on the side that held peanut butter (in case you didn't like what they were serving for dinner, PB & J were always available. This was WAY before peanut allergies!). My friend Lorie and I would sing as we washed dishes when it was our turn for KP (Kitchen Patrol-essentially, doing dishes), and I remember Fred and Michelle playing with the water squirter. Michelle would squirt at Fred's feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" It was fun. Some old ladies crabbed about the "chain gang" singing in the dish room, so we made fun of them (quietly, of course), and kept singing, but quieter.

At campfire time, it felt almost magical to be there. We were all seated around the fire on blankets, if we brought them, or logs; the water was lapping quietly, and every once in awhile a wave would hit the roller raft just right, and it would make a hollow sound. We'd sing the fun songs first, lots of them. Then we'd move on to rounds and quieter songs, and then we'd sing the really spiritual, worshipful songs. The coals would be glowing by this time, but the fire would have mostly died down. It truly was magical, and I felt very spiritual and connected with God there.

As we got older, of course, we had more free rein as to where we wanted to be on the campground at a given time. The Senior High camp had a lot of free time, and pretty much had the run of the place so long as we let someone know where we were and were back in time for the next scheduled activity. We'd talk, and play board games on the picnic tables outside the dining hall, and play volleyball, and laugh and talk some more.

And then I moved to Arizona. There are, of course, RLDS churches here. Now they're called Community of Christ. But when I got here, in 1986, we were still RLDS. My first summer here I worked as a counselor at a Senior High camp here. And it was awful. There were way fewer kids, yes; but the real problem was that they didn't seem like the kids in Michigan. They were different. They didn't hang around the center part of camp, they wanted to go off in the woods in boy-girl pairs. And yes, there was some of that in Michigan. But not all day long.

Church here was different, too. The congregation here was much larger than the one back home, but I didn't seem to fit in. I tried for years and years, from 1986 until 2002. And I just didn't fit in. Everyone tried to be nice, too; it wasn't that they were mean or unconcerned. But I didn't fit.

So, that's when I accepted an invitation from my friend to go to choir practice with her. And that's why, when I felt God leading me, I left my church. And took my kids with me. I left my life-long religion. And decided to walk with Jesus and accept the fact that I do not have to earn my way to heaven. That Jesus' death provided that for me. That I could stop feeling like I'd never measure up, because I no longer had to measure up.

I miss it terribly, sometimes. Oddly, not the church here in Arizona; the one in Michigan. I miss my friend, who, like me, eventually got married and had kids and we lost touch. I miss Park of the Pines. I miss the roller raft and the dock and the swings, but I especially miss the campfire.