What the H(@#)Q@$&! is wrong with me today?

Did'ja ever have one of those days? I did. Today.

It started Sunday, actually. I went to church, stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home (which may, in fact explain everything...Wal-Mart often makes me insane). I went home, put the groceries away, and decided to lie down for a few mintes before starting to paint the touch-up stuff in the bedroom and the hallway. I laid down at about 2:30, and woke up at 5:30!! So much for painting.

Then, I couldn't sleep. Which is nowhere near like me...I can ALWAYS sleep. Except Sunday night. The kids and Tony have been gone backpacking since Saturday, and I just didn't feel tired...or relaxed enough to sleep. Finally at 3:00 a.m. or so, I went to bed and watched TV until who knows when. I woke up at 5:30 with a blinding headache and nausea. I didn't go to work Monday. Instead, I slept and/or laid around being all lethargic until about 3:30 in the afternoon.

Today I went to work. Big mistake. Huge. I still hurt all over and am grumpy as all get-out. Then I find out that the courier that picks up from us on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday each week apparently has gone over the edge. He's very full of himself, and although he works for a courier company, not us directly; he takes it upon himself to change our delivery schedule and tell me what to do as though he's my boss. Yesterday, when I was sick, he apparently insisted on parking in the wrong area, where he's been asked not to park. Then he got into it with a security guard who approached him and was incredibly rude; rude enough that the security director for the plaza I work in came to our office and talked to the other admin about him.

Now, you'd think that this would be evidence enough for my boss to listen to us about his attitude and work habits but, bless her heart, she thinks he hung the moon. She loves everybody and is really a great boss. She tries to find the good in everyone and encourages us all to. And usually I don't complain about people, but in this case I felt it was necessary to bring it up. She says she'll talk to him...we'll see.

I have a desk that, with the CPU for my computer, my monitor, my phone, pen cup, and stapler on it, has about 1.5 square feet left over for work space. And today, everybody felt the need to set their crap on it while they went on to other things, leaving me to deal with their stuff in addition to mine. 'Cause I have time for that.

Then there was the meeting this afternoon. It was a conference call, but I didn't know that because no one, including my boss and the other admin, thinks to tell me anything. I'm at the front friggin' desk, people...wouldn't it be nice if I had a clue what is going on in the office so I can help people when they walk in the front door? But, no. I didn't know. And, it was a conference call where people are supposed to call a toll-free number and enter a bridge number. The other admin leaves at 4:00, and at 4:25 I got a call from a meeting participant needing the bridge number. I don't have this info, so I call the other admin., who tells me the practice manager has it, and she's setting up the call. But she's really not setting up the call, because no one friggin' knows the bridge number (why we have to bother with the whole bridge number thing is beyond me, too. Every participant in the meeting works for us, but are in different offices. We have a conference phone in the conference room...I don't know). So, I call the other admin again, who tells me that she has the bridge number in her e-mail. I go break into her computer and get the info, and the stupid meeting starts.

By this point I'm wondering why I'm still at this stupid, lame company anyway and I can't move to another position because I don't have the right experience (even though I was told I didn't need it when I decided to apply) and I'm wasting my life in this stupid desert and raising my kids where they can't even go outside and play because we're in the stupid city and it's hot and humid and my stupid hair is frizzy and driving me nuts and I have to go to Mexico for a vacation and I don't even want to but my husband does and how do we know we won't be in some stupid non-working house that has holes in the roof and no air conditioning and the ocean looked close enough to the patio to be a tsunami and we're probably going to all be sucked into the ocean anyway and I need another nap and why in the world have I not progressed in my career beyond stupid receptionist work and...yeah. REALLY rational stuff. See? I shouldn't have gone to work today. I must've been a total JOY to be around. But I was, in fact, really pleasant to everyone all day, until the last hour, when everyone was ensconced safely in their little meeting and I could feel free to slam drawers and folders on desks and mutter and complain quietly. Hmmph!!

And, when I came home, I still felt sick. I think I really was/am sick. Because I've been much happier than this lately. Just not today.

Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug.

And, I think there's a limit to how long I can be without my family. I miss them.