Reevaluating

I should tell you first that I tend to be kind of a flake. For instance, I haven't made it to church in several weeks. I'm in the choir, so I have a definite reason to go, but I haven't gone. I went today, and I'm so glad. Because...

a) it always makes me feel better
b) I saw people I hadn't seen at church in awhile, and that felt good
c) the sermon was great

I've had migraines for about 10 years. They just showed up one day, uninvited and certainly unwelcome, but there they were. I used to get them pretty infrequently, but lately I've had one about 3-4 times a month. Not good.

The one I had last week began on Tuesday mid-day, and didn't quit until sometime Friday. I missed some work on Thursday, because the pain had gotten so bad that all I could do was pace. I couldn't sit at my desk, couldn't think of looking at a computer, etc. I left about 2:00 that day, and took a nap. The nap helped, but the pain was still there when I had to go get two teeth filled (I know...I'm a dentist's dream!) . But I went, and had a different dentist, who was fabulous. I didn't even feel the novocaine shot (they numb me before the shot with that gel, so I can't feel the needle going in, but can always feel the novocaine leaving the needle and entering my mouth). He did a great job. I came home and for the first time since all this pain started Tuesday, I felt like being awake and with the family. So I was. Like I said, during the night Friday most of the pain left, and I woke up okay on Friday.

I told you that story to tell you this one...during the time I was in pain, I came to a realization. I need to refocus my attitude and my way of living and even my way of being. That kind of pain is a wake-up call, and I need to fix it. So when I got to church today, I noticed the topic was reevaluating. And I began to think...if I would just STOP worrying! If I would just leave the worrying to God, who really is the only one who can handle it, I would be better. I am seriously neglecting the creative part of my life. I have been going to choir practice only when I can comfortably fit it in, and as I mentioned, I haven't been to church in weeks. That stifles the singing part of my creativity (as well as worship and learning about God-also not good). I haven't played my clarinet in years. I want to learn to sew and haven't even tried that (since 4th grade, when I was in 4-H). I want to make a painting, and haven't done that, either.

What have I been doing? Well, I always say homework, but I don't think that's true. I do some homework, but not enough to completely stifle the rest of my life. I have been sleeping a lot (when I have migraines), so maybe that's some of it. I watch too much TV. I work a lot, and worry about work. And I do stuff with the kids, which I'm not giving up! :)

But, if I reevaluate. What if I reevaluate my level of stress about work. Hmm...can worrying do anything? No. Can worrying change anything? No. I know this in my head, but it's hard to get my heart to buy into it. What if I reevaluate my commitment to church and to choir? That seems like a good place for me to be. What if I reevaluate my homework, and do a little every night instead of a bunch on the weekend? If I can get myself to actually do these things, it may help. It may also alleviate a bunch of my stress and help keep me from getting migraines.

And that would be good. I think I'll give it a try. I'll let you know how I am doing.