I have had the kind of day today where I want to blow things up. I won't of course, so if you're reading, "President" Bush, I'm just kidding. I'm frustrated beyond bearing and so damn tired I feel like I can't go on.
I tried to break a plate, but it didn't...damn Corelle! This is a day when I want mounds of chocolate, mounds of ice cream, and some wine wouldn't hurt, too.
I think of women in my past who were an inspiration to me...my "grandma" (because she wasn't really my grandma, just a lady I grew up next door to) Hiatt, Mrs. Jenckes, Connie Brigham, my mother, my grandmother. Did they ever feel out of control? How can I learn to get as organized and calm as they were? No one in my generation of parents is...we're all desperately trying to hang on, trying not to implode. It's crazy. They were totally calm, or totally deceiving, one of the two.
My kids are currently sitting on the couch eating ice cream while I type this, which is a break from my homework. Is school worth them being alone in the next room? Am I a good mother if I let them eat and watch TV while I'm in here? Shouldn't I be filling their minds with wisdom or playing a game with them or cleaning up after them?
But alas, my homework waits.
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